Sitting,
An article of stagnance,
With a heavily dusted window,
And a soul in heavy fragments.
Looking at you through the glass,
Wondering what has come to pass.
I’ve been here forever,
But nobody stays forever.
Now forever feels like home,
And I’ve turned up alone
After you vanished from my head
And filled my mind with lead.

I am still me.

Still me.

I want to shout it from the highest places, just so that you can hear it and understand. Hear it and believe it. Hear it and trust me.

Still me.

Because that girl who dug around your garden and nearly ate night shade berries still exists. The one who crawled around on the carpets, playing with toy cars, she's still here. The child who sat cross-legged on the counter tops licking icing off her fingers is still alive.

She's still in here. Waiting for the day she sees the entire world. Pretending that she can fly even when the world has clipped her wings time and time again. Watching rain streak down the windows, admiring the ladies who traipse around in Victorian dresses when we watch those films you love.

She still awws at every sweet thing she stumbles across. And still hopes against all hope that she will live in an ancient forest. Who still adores Joan of Arc and loves to read poetry out loud.

Still me.

Still over watering plants because I have no idea when to stop giving.

Still up in the middle of the night dreaming.

Still singing.

Still here.

Still me.

That simple truth shouldn't change your opinion of me. Because it doesn't change who I am.

What dreams may come; they darken still
Memories tear at my weakened will
Your face, your joy, tell me true
You hold that he is the one for you
My heart, my soul, the constant ache
For opportune chances I did not take
Two years gone by since my confession
A scorched eternity of loving obsession
Each day regret for choices made
For vows I kept when I should have strayed
So I face love left unspoken
An empty pedestal reluctantly broken
Someday we'll stand eye-to-eye, toe-to-toe
With passion tempered, I'll need you to know
- My focus was clear, my intentions were true
- All said & done, I believe you were the one
- Because my life, my world, my soul
- Are nothing without you
.
.
.
I miss you, My Love.

There are noxious nights when the buried blade in my heart twists tight, driving me to despair.
I find myself at
- the ridges of reason
- the shoals of sorrow
- the heights of hope
  diving
              down
                         to
                             the depths of darkness
excavating every cadaverous corner of my mind.
I am searching for a beacon to guide me back to her. It is then that I realize the truth ...
🕯Appo Deepo Bhava 🕯

Dear ethereal nothing
Having become rather fond of never
You will find me in an aching muscle dream
The kind which lasts no more than fog
And clears like eyes with only blinks
Observe my lostness if you must
Find in it an ounce of head turn on my behalf
Or not, regardless
Look around and see this hollow earth
These steady hands which know no more of thought
Than your heart of dose of sound
A letter wish this also reads
But just in case your ethereal being has yet been freed
I end this lay and say lay down my pen
Addressing this to the cosmos through
And to no one in particular, this
I still do