“Hello”

He speaks.

That,
I always hear.


He draws the curtains
Of time
And space

I catch a
Glimpse
Of trees
Of mountains

Of his face.

I feel the breeze
Of Ancient Greece
Of numbers
Of Sounds

and
Many many waves.


He speaks

Some words
I usually
Cannot hear

But all I
Really need
To hear
Is
The sound
of silence
In his voice.


He holds a space
For me to be
To dance within
Eternity.

And then I flow
Into my day
Into my night
Finding my way.

He wonders why
I call so much
Why I cannot
Seem to
Make it stop..

He speaks

of space
And sometimes
Of time



“Hello” I mumble
Can’t you see..?

The sands
The waves
The Persian Nights?

my voice echoed through the vacant corridor
my words amplified through the metallic mesh of the mic
my syllables accented as my mouth developed the shape of speech
my letters admired by the readers who never failed to narrate
p.s.
the tone of speech is a definition on its own
period

Through my own tyrannical enforcement
I spew insipid scripted statements
I do not support nor enjoy.
Afraid to be aberrant
Oppressed I am pushed to lecture repugnant contradictions against my own disposition.
Turgid loathing of the fear of dropping the expected facade
Supported by ego and enforced by group-think to mold a homogenous majority.
I hate self pity.
Here marinating in my own self indulgent sorrow.
I am a hypocrite.
Another one of my enemies.
But weakened by forcing myself to state the opposite of what I value,
I open myself to further self destruction.
Through this introspection I might be able to reclaim my social autonomy.
Possibly at the cost of diminution of social impression.
That is held at such divine standards today.
I might become a social martyr.
But at least I’d die complete and confident in my own voice.
It would open me to ridicule.
But I’d rather understand myself and be subjected to hate than to live objectively in a self confined contrived reality.

Movies are
at their best
tightly scripted
bravely casted
boldly acted
richly promoted
highly rated
Poetry

Hey! Ahole
Don’t you ever get in my face again
You’re just scared of me
You don’t understand
You don’t believe in what I believe in
That’s ok
But don’t push me down
Don’t choke who I am
Don’t punch my soul
Don’t called me a Holocaust attention *****
Ignorant Ahole
You don’t get the world
You’re moving backwards while I will move a million leagues ahead of you

i want to run away from here,
i’m unwanted and viewed as eternal emptiness.
i knew it in my heart that I should’ve never cared,
Because the reason for our fall always ends here.
For thinking you were the one,
For once,
I am wrong.
Overthinking too much,
I assume where we went lost.
Took too long to reply,
My heart is shriveled up and dead, and I can no longer move along.
Just a look in your eyes,
Brings memories to my mind,
I love you so much.
I wish that I could remove the flaws hidden behind us,
A trail of unrequited love.
From afar, I see that your footprints cross my heart,
Too much to bear, I sit and stare at the clock.
Too numb to feel something that felt so real,
Maybe you weren’t the one to heal,
You were just a temporary deal,
Just like everyone else.
I could’ve been yours,
Our perspectives are too **** drawn,
Can’t you see?
We’re falling apart,
pretending to be something we’re not.
We’re nothing at all, I understand...
I wish that we could’ve lasted forever,
Instead, you abused the pact and treated me as whenever,
Oh, I just wanted you all to myself.
Reassurance and security,
Both things that met when I was with you.
Call me a selfish girl,
A cruel fool,
But my emotions will inevitably choose you.
I will miss you my dear,
But, you were the cause of our downfall.
Running away from my problems again,
goodbye my friend.

I live a life of hypocrisy;
Contradicting words with acts.
There is no guilt, though.
I assure you of that.
Because I deny words already
Rejected by reality.

I utter lies that I myself partly distrust.
My speech, a suicidal prophecy,
A contradiction of self-harm.
I talk of talking, yet never really talk at all.

I do not lie as a cold shelter,
For I truly believe what I say,
Even if my belief wavers.
I lie to render it true.
It is mere coincidence that my honest
Lies blanket me with ice.
It is cold yet warm; an uncomfortable contradiction
Reflective of my perpetual discomfort
Because difference disturbs,
And discomfort is being.

I stay silent in pain
From harm which is ideological.
My body does not react
To the turmoil of the mind
Until it does,
And it acts.
It acts as it can't, but can.
It defies rules before they can be realised.

And so I talk about how I cannot,
And while I lament my inability,
I talk.

Be careful whom you talk to
And what you say,
For things can be twisted
Any which way.

These are troubled times,
That we all know.
It’s oh so hard to tell
Friend from foe.

I love to be open and express my self,
But some things can’t be said: they are not allowed.
We have to stay silent I’m afraid to say,
And be PC to fit in with the crowd.

Oh to be honest
And tell the truth,
Like it was
In the days of my youth.

Paul Butters

© PB 6\2\2019.