Today is my 60th birthday. For milestone birthdays in the past, I used to leave the country from time to time. At my 30th I went to Israel, At my 50th Brazil, And now, I can’t even leave my house. I could have spent $100m and had myself shot into space Though with Lily going to college in the fall, Spending that money on anything else right now wouldn’t be wise. Adventure is now defined as going to the supermarket. Living dangerously would be doing that without a mask and gloves. Though I’ve reached the age when I can now go at 6 AM The modern equivalent of putting me out on an ice flow Or an alternate to adult day care. All for the sake of making my Neanderthal ancestors proud of My Hunting and gathering skills. I’d like to say ‘next year in Jerusalem’ But I’d really like to get to tomorrow first. Ahem.
There was an orange caveman Who made himself a fancy home. It was as glitzy as he could make it Using gold and fancy stones. He had enough wealth to Employ many starving slaves. He fed them as seldom as he could **** near from womb to grave.
When he took folks to the top Of his ostentatious dwelling, You could swear within minutes You could hear his ego swelling. He had the softest of couches And lookouts over the land. He did his level best to be sure His caveman home was grand.
His slaves would prepare for him The most lavish of repasts And guests were encouraged To dig in as long as it lasts. But at end of day all must Get the hell out of there. He always had a new young wife And he didn't like to share.
But, somewhere along the tour He would keep some internal pledge And take you up to the top And point out a jutting ledge. He would comment on it's proximity To his bed for the middle of the night. He explained it was his privy Quite handy from this lofty height.
He said only whites could use it, He was quite stubborn about that. Because the good people in life Must be careful where they sat. But he laughed at those below And made no attempt to hedge. He enjoyed the idea of their fate And what comes from the white privy ledge.