I am cold.
But everyone says
You just need to get past my walls,
I am a warm person deep down.
They see what they want to but
I am cold as ice inside.
People will tell you
I have a sensitive side but
Hardly anyone sees.
What I truly am inside,
A heartless monster.
Still, my peers think they know
I am really a big softy.

Now read it bottom to top.

if my life was all but a dream
it would be all but your dream,
your sweet melody-
soft piano keys and longing
they hit distant shores,
your shores

cold beaches
and colder nights,
warm fields,
warmer bodies close together
-that was our dream

but we-
we don’t dream anymore,
cold nights don’t become warm ones anymore,
i didn’t want to be with you anymore
anymore

i still write songs
they’re still for you,
they’re still dreams in my head,
taking your hand,
your shores in my head

if i love you was a promise
to you,
i love you was a dream,
for me,
it was only just a dream

but we-
we don’t dream anymore,
cold nights don’t become warm ones anymore,
i didn’t want to be with you anymore
anymore

but we-
we don’t dream anymore,
cold nights don’t become warm ones anymore,
i didn’t want to be with you anymore
anymore

i didn’t want to be with you anymore
(if my life was all but a dream)

cold nights aren’t so cold anymore
(it would be all but your dream)

we don’t dream anymore
(that wasn’t our dream anymore)

i recall the soft touch of your hand
on my infant cheek--

so delicate in the moment,
but so menacing later on.

i recall the warmth of your skin
as it comforted my shaking hand--

so calm in the moment,
but so frightening later on.

i recall the sweetness of your smile
as it had shone its luminescent glow upon me--

so beautiful in the moment,
but so unsettling later on.


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~­~~~


i can't quite understand
why you no longer hold my hand.

see, you have a light touch so full of love,
that it could burst at any moment--
giving way to something sour.

i don't see the reason
for you to make my eyelids change color every season.

see, i have bruises like silk
and blood like milk--
your emotions could drink it all in one sitting.

i don't understand
why my heart still beats if the scale of my wrongdoing is so grand.


see, i have a droplet of hope,



but it falls into an ocean of fear

**** this stupid
Big
******* massive
Enormous
country of ours.
This desolate land
God forsaken.
My skin is too soft,
My heart is too weak
to be dragged up and down coasts
Chasings stories and heartache.
A mail-order bride,
A ******* for love,
the mouse
who ran to the
Predator.

The bin
Silly little boy
You say such odd things
Small quips of a king
Tall steps they must seem
How far you have traveled
How tired you must be
Oh dear child
Save your soft gleam
Thank you for your words
Each little line
Ridicule shall fade
All in good time

Your innocence
makes me
want to
sin

Happy, warm, safe
In my couch
Borrowing
Deeper
Into soft
Fluffy
     Floating
          Rather
On
  A
   Cloud
Quite      nice
     No obligations
Just
    Flight
My mind         drifts                        away
And my body,
An
    Empty
         Vessel