I'm drying my face with a hand towel
The smell of you fills my nostrils
And I'm back in the basement again.
Not 21 drunk in her boyfriend's bathroom
But 7, alone in a musty basement.
7, alone in your room.
The smell takes me over
and I have to pretend I can function again.
Pretend the look on my face is only from exhaustion.
That wouldn't be a lie.
Your image in my mind makes me grow tired
and sleep isn't enough to cure this kind of immensity.
Inhaling through my nose
And exhaling from my mouth
I continue to breath you in.
Washing the impurities from my face
while I let you infect my body,
my mind and my entire being.
I must keep it together
Cannot break, you don't deserve this type of power.
My face is dry, so is my pride
I'm tired of wringing the despair out of my bones
and letting it soak-
only to grow roots beneath my feet
and vines on the backbone I have molded for myself
Out of tragedy and abuse and sheet metal
too hard to sink your empathy through.
But enough to let you sink your teeth into.
Break me from memory
rebuild me from the times
you have tried to smother my willpower.
You cannot do this to me anymore

I remove the towel from my face
Look at the person standing before me
Built from nothing but her own struggle.
Rising from the ashes like all the times before.
You are the only form of soldier
a uniform like your smile can wear today.
Give yourself a Purple Heart
you've fought this battle and deserve some honor.
Bruised you may be,
purple has always been your color.
Tragedy has always looked so **** good on you.

Blindfold me with your words;
thick like paint they cover my eyes with lies.

Why must I be oblivious if I cannot see?

I still have my ears,
my touch,
my sense of smell,
my sense of taste.
I don't need my eyes to find the light.

The truth can be found without a steady gaze.
There are so many ways your ignorance will never figure out.

Let me show you when I give you my goodbyes,
untying the knot with my own two hands.

Lacking tangibility.
A sense associated with memory.
Scientifically proven to be attached to neurological stimulus.
But in its simpler form,
it reminds us of Sunday afternoons
and coffee stains.
It reminds us of the rain
and the sheets of your bed.
It can't be felt,
only recognized.
And like you,
it can soften in an inhale
and hurt in an exhale.

When I press your ***** clothes to
My face, and your aroma fills my lungs,
It's like I can feel your lips and flesh
In my mouth;
I can taste your skin on my tongue
And it's as if you're a part of me
Again.

im sorry, i dont usually do this
especially not for friends
so it's a little hard, but
i miss you

it's only been a day but i do

i miss the way
  your eyes sparkle in the morning sun
  your eyes meet mine when we talk

i miss the way
  you smell, that's so uniquely you
  your tongue curls when you laugh in your special way

i miss the way
  your hand brushes mine when we walk, and it's okay
  you tease me, joke with me, banter with me

i treasure you, i value you,
you're my friend and i miss you

He looks like messy eyebrows and endless lashes and his smile stops my heart every time. He looks disheveled, like his hands never stop running through his hair. His eyes are sweet and muddy and his hands are rough. He feels like work and strength. His arms are hard and his chest is solid and it's the only place I feel at peace. His breath on the back of my neck. He always smells like Copenhagen and swagger, it lingers on me after he's gone. Sometimes he smells like he's had a few cigarettes, and sometimes he smells like he's been laying in the grass, like dirt and raw nature. Or sweat and lust and he feels so hot. He's never cold and he melts the ice on my skin. His laughter is loud and infecting and his voice is deep and rough and forever etched in my mind. He is everything.

I am so angry
But I still can't smell you
You touch my skin
But I still can't smell you
I **** on your feet
But I still can't smell you
You lay a kiss on me
But I still can't smell you

I sit there,
The only smell
The wine on my
Mother's breath while
She complains about her life.

She blames me for all of it;
My dad leaving us,
Guys not being interested,
Not making enough money.

I've tried and tried
But she still won't care
About them…
Or me.

I watch my siblings
All day each day.
I take them out of the
House when she gets
Drunk or high.
I don't ask for anything
In return.

I want her to acknowledge
That she messed me up,
She is an unfit mother,
She is selfish and cares
Only about men and drugs.

I want her to acknowledge
That I am the mother,
Not her.
I tuck the kids in at night.
I help them with homework.
I go to school events.
Where is she?
Sometimes I don't even know.

She’ll come home at midnight,
Stumbling her way about the
House with the smell of wine
On her breath.