...
But in the deafening sounds of silence
There lay thousands of silent screams
Never to be heard by anyone
But the ghosts that haunted
The sinners and the ******
...
If only you could hear
The echoing of their voices
In the corners of my mind
In the emptiness of the night
Then and only then
Would you understand
That behind my smiles
And stupid childish jokes
Lies a thousand unheard screams
Demanding me
To let them break out
And finally be free
...
Because I am the Tortured and the ******.

You were both hell and heaven
Fire arose within
Every word you said, every breath taken
was passion
and heat
Like the kind we shared between the sheets.
But there was hurt in your eyes
You couldn’t imagine being a sinner
Every night,
You lay by my side
I told you I was no good.
You told them “there’s nothing I wouldn’t give her.”
For a second I thought I was being saved.
It felt religious believing with you
Courageous game, but we still played.
It was a dangerous world for us fools
Every piece of you was lost in a prayer.
My love for you was The Enemy.
And, my love, He was cruel.
Tears streamed down when I speak,
with my palms together,
I knelt down and repeat;
This man is a soul
I am nothing but a body
Never met a god
This life has been sold,
Never to what I thought.
I’ve lied in bed with what scares me most!
I have sinned, I have sinned!
But please, hear me out, first—
with a benevolent grin
He took me in—
Don’t forgive me, father
I’m a sin.

Heaven and Hell.
Two sides of the same coin.
God, up in his crystal tower,
on his lofty thrown,
flips it.
Heads it's Heaven
Tails it's Hell
Everything you've ever done leads right to this moment.
Was it worth it?

"Shh! " he tried to hush me while I struggled to free myself from his grip.
Biting his fingers which covered my screaming mouth.
Weeping, I pleaded him to stop.
"Please don't!" I cried.
Failed wiggles, loud cries of angst.
"Just a little more" he whispered in my ear.
A hatred towards whispers was born, as I cursed my fate.

My temple felt the inescapable touch of the unholy,
the bells rung in loud cries
it's walls were down,
it's over, the temple lost its holiness,which it treasured the most.

What if...
I told you the unholy was the sinner behind the construction of the temple.
What if...
I told you it was my Father.

Dear God, I need a moment
I know it's been a while
You know I do not go to church
That just is not my style

I do not pray like others do
I believe in what is right
So, God I ask you hear me
On this dark and lonely night

I do not ask redemption
I'm too far gone you know
I'm not one who is worth saving
Deep down you know it's so

The people who are righteous
Who are here to spread your word
Are wolves wrapped in sheep's clothing
Working hard to fleece the herd

I'm not one who will follow
I don't buy the tales they sell
When I am dead and buried
I'm not in heaven but in hell

I'm cutting out the middle man
For they don't own my trust
They're ******* their believers
They use your name with every ******

I hope that you can hear me
Though I've used your name in vain
They confess and pay their penance
Then they do it all again

If the only way to heaven
Is to buy a ticket in
Then I guess I'm well committed
So, I'll live my life in sin

The sinners should be punished
I know you and I agree
But, who made them judge and jury
Who chooses what they see?

Dear God when all is finished
My soul is mine alone to lose
But, where I spend my future
Is up to you to choose

So, God, I'm here just talking
Not confessing to my sin
I'm not here to say I'm leaving
I guess, I'm only checking in.