Shaking
Shivering
Dry
Throat

Breathe me in
Eat me whole

I'm quivering
From your deep soul

Numb
Sensitive
Crooked
Tongue

I'm thirsty
Fill me with your water

You call me lovely
Like a daughter

Red
Screeching
Paranoid
Shooting
Brains

Tell me your words
Devour my mind

Please look into my eyes
And try to be kind

My backpack straps dig into my shoulders:
they burn with the weight.
I’m sick to my stomach,
and my throat still catches on thin air.
I just want things to ease up
or give me a break.

Mom comes with ginger ale;
we sit together in the car
and consider whether or not to
visit the doctor.

Illness
   And tragedy
      Have no words, and
         In love
            A sufferer
               R
                  u
                     n
                        s  dry.
                          Yet to others,
                   His pain,
          So crushing,
Is laughable.

It would seem
That all I ever consider
Are questions
And I never quite get closure
No one offers answers
Especially when I'm too afraid to ask
I don't know what I am
Maybe I'm just making it up
Maybe I'm crazy
Maybe I'm dramatic
Maybe I'm sick
Maybe I'm in a phase
Maybe I'm just broken
But I don't want to ask
Because the answer
Can't possibly be good

It was easy to get lost in you
You were everything I wanted
But through the fabrications of my mind I created a current of falseness
I was washed away by my own reassurance

I felt that I could replace what You couldn't give me

Love

Now I exist
In the skeleton of love
Buried deep where the warmth of you
Can't reach me

The after shocks of your heart beating
For someone else still drives me crazy

You were the budding flowers of spring
Those fragrant flowers I once loved
Now all I know is the foul stench of a rotting tree

You took me
And broke me

Now I have to pick up the pieces
And rebuild Myself

My heart
left my ribcage empty
sick of self doubt
and feeble bones
it went exploring beyond
its comfort zone
leaving me
with just memories
filling a void of
what was once
love

Does love mean
You get to hit me
Stab me with your words
And I don’t make a sound
Does love mean
You make me feel less of me
Does love mean
You use my words against me
Does love mean
To control
Does love mean
Jealousy
Does love mean
Wait for your order
Does love mean
Waiting for you to get your **** together
Does love mean
I have to bit my own tongue
And swallow my own blood
Does love mean
You pretend to be a victim
And I don’t get to notice
Does love mean anything?