It's so hard to watch him with other people
He's not shy about showing anyone else affection
And I'm one of his best friends, so what's different with me?
I know I'm being selfish, that he has much more pressing matters to worry about
Than a hug
Or some handholding
But I'm tired and sad and I just want someone to snuggle up against and forget the world

A poet is such a loser
Who only speaks through words;
Hoping a blue moon would occur
Sometime in the future.
But Future is too wild to capture;
Galloping, rushing in a herd.
Soaring like a free bird.

And who am I really?
Just another loser
Who can barely bear
To look you in the eye.
Nothing can compare.

I hold the pen and close my eyes, makes my heart open his book in pain!
Listen to that melody calling for that melody, makes all lines shake in fear!
Space and every element surrounding that space lead to hold my trembled heart to fade in illusion!
Questioning my reasons....
Questioning the versions of me I became through my journey!
Questioning the purpose I have every now and then!
Questioning should I go further than this place I reached!
The sun hiding behind those shy clouds trying to keep the light of the new road from being seen!
What is behind that Road!...

(photo session baby picture)
Serious                                                 ­                                                          
somber
no smile

Come on, child
I don't have all day
What's wrong with you

Oh go ahead
take one anyway
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
(early school years)
Serious face
somber
no smile

speak up, Child
no tales to tell?
of schoolyard adventures
games to be won?
you're so quiet...
what's wrong with you
cat got your tongue?

sad little face
tears running down
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
(high school)
Serious face
somber
no smile

rattling papers
quivering lips
how long did this speech have to be?
knees won't stop trembling
how long can one take this misery?
can't see for tears forming

hot burning face
crippling disgrace
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
(meeting)
quiet
tentative: "I have an idea
I'd like to present..."

loud
dismissive
oh let's move on
that won't work

("why did I bother to come?
I feel like a ****")

burning eyes
lip silently bit
don't let the tears slip

Guarded heart


My head is a galaxy of stars that are shaped like hearts,
But they cannot be seen in the dark because of their blinding lights.
There is a sky in my mind, a place I like to find, when I choose to fly,
And today is a day for wings, to sing and for me to say,
I love you.


With the records on and the music playing,
I am thinking of regrets and the words I should be saying.
It may be too late to change the course of history,
But if I ever did get the chance again for you to see,
I would show you that the love I keep deep inside of me is sweet,
And I would say I missed you and my chance of love…
Did you miss me?


For a long time now I have been thinking about you,
But I could never speak those words that only I knew.
I knew I had fallen for you when my parachute opened,
And it pulled me away from the one who would be my chosen.
Yes I would pick you up from the earth if I could,
And I would place you next to me for eternity.


I have been thinking about rings for a very long time,
So when I had the chance to give you my heart,
I was too coco-nuts! (Shy),
To ever say I would like to be with you today,
And all the words were lost upon the zeitgeist
And now that is just another day, when I could not say,
I need you to stay,
Because you make Tuesday the best day.


(C)2018 Aa Harvey. All Rights Reserved.