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Elaine Jan 2019
A thunderous storm cloud on the horizon it loomed:
The day when I would have to say goodbye to him and his family,
A family so much a part of me it felt as if they were my own

The storm cloud neared, and lightning began to pierce my heart
I was unfamiliar with this sensation, with him as the storm
He had always been a ray of sunshine in my life

What would I do without seeing his brilliant smile everyday
Without his kind heart, his unconditional love, his assurance that I was always enough
Without his whip-smart humor, his contagious laugh, his mop of curls

I felt as if I was losing him and his smile, maybe for good
As if the sun might never warm me with its rays again
But I had forgotten that the sun still shines when it can't be seen, even when it's on the other side of the nation

And so he left to shine his light on another part of the world, but I always remembered how bright he burned
He illuminated my life from afar, and when he returned, he seemed to shine even brighter than before
I'm writing this as a present for a friend who moved away. It's a work in progress, so if you've got any feedback I'd love to hear it :)
Elaine Jul 2018
I really couldn't be happier for you
I just wish I could be happier for me
  May 2018 Elaine
i miss you

i miss you
i miss you
i miss you

i should forget you
better off without you?
why can't i shake you
i need to forget you

but i don't want to
it's something i can't do
soon i'll unlove you
but right now, i miss you

Elaine May 2018
There's a clock above my head and a calendar inside my heart
Ticking away the seconds, checking off the days
37 minutes til school's out today, 2 more weeks with my friends
Before they leave
Before I go off to college
Before I'm miles away from everyone I care about (and even farther from the one that I love)
Before everything I've ever known changes, ceases to exist

The ticking is incessant, it echoes in my skull
Reminding me how little time I have left
How I'm sitting here counting seconds
And wasting all of them
It makes me want to stop the clock, rip the calendar out of my heart, shatter time itself
But I'm not brave enough or stupid enough or clever enough for that
So instead I sit here like a self-made bomb, watching the fuse burn faster and faster
And waiting for my life to implode
4 a.m. ramblings. Don't mind me
Elaine May 2018
I wonder if you write poetry about me too
Since every poem I write seems to be about you

I wonder if my smile makes your day
If hearing my laugh makes you want to stay

I wonder if you light up when I walk in the room
If seeing my face makes your heart go boom

I wonder if your pulse speeds up when we hug
If you've fallen into this hole we've dug

I wonder if you want to take my hand
And forget everything else that you had planned

I wonder if you think about kissing me
If I'm who you want your first kiss to be

I wonder if you feel these same things I do
I wonder if you just might love me too
I tried a rhyming poem, so that's new. I threw in a Hamilton reference for good measure :)
Elaine May 2018
If I told you all the things I wish I could
Would you look at me differently
If I told you all the things I wish I could
Would you look at me the way I look at you
I want to tell him I love him so badly. But that wouldn't be fair to him, so I write sad poems about it instead
Elaine May 2018
Sometimes I dress up and paint my face
So that I can at least feel pretty on the outside
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