𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐫𝐲𝐰𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐞 𝐬𝐡𝐞 𝐰𝐞𝐧𝐭 //
  𝐭𝐫𝐮𝐝𝐠𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐚𝐜𝐫𝐨𝐬𝐬 𝐟𝐢𝐞𝐥𝐝𝐬
𝐩𝐚𝐬𝐭 𝐭𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐬𝐡𝐞𝐝 𝐭𝐫𝐚𝐢𝐧𝐬
  𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐦𝐨𝐢𝐬𝐭 𝐞𝐲𝐞𝐬 𝐚𝐧𝐝
𝐢𝐧𝐭𝐫𝐮𝐬𝐢𝐯𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐨𝐮𝐠𝐡𝐭𝐬
  𝐠𝐥𝐚𝐧𝐜𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐭𝐡𝐫𝐨𝐮𝐠𝐡 𝐰𝐢𝐧𝐝𝐨𝐰𝐬
𝐚𝐢𝐦𝐥𝐞𝐬𝐬

𝐢 𝐰𝐚𝐬 𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐝 𝐬𝐡𝐞'𝐝 𝐝𝐢𝐞 𝐬𝐞𝐚𝐫𝐜𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐲𝐨𝐮.


~ eli.

I don't quite know my home, since I've never
had the pleasure to meet you
and they say home is where the heart is
and I'm positive you have mine.
So I'm walking through life
with the endless feeling of
being homesick.
- homesick.

I see the beauty of you such as no other woman holds,
Cast in radiance and uniqueness by natures precision moulds.

And though others may not see you as my eyes perceive the view.
I live for the grace and the beauty that my dreams perceive in you.

My eyes are drawn to beauty's smile written there upon your face,
like a touch of heaven when we join in love's warm embrace.

I feel my heart skip to match the rhythm of your gentle sigh,
the softness of you near me forcing my every sense to high.

Your sensuous, delicate lips that I am so longing to know and kiss,
where my soul yet sings aloud to make a moment such as this.

I am captivated by every soft curve and all of your alluring charms,
sure my heart will know completeness with you there in my arms.

Two souls content by touching, set on lighting passion's hottest fire,
ignited by the bond of two lovers totally consumed by deep desire.

Feel of naked flesh pressed upon my own bodies now made as one,
with universe as if vanished, all else but us seemingly now gone.

Unified realm of heart, mind and soul's most contented place,
as we lose ourselves to loves inspired intoxicating embrace.

Caught and bound by love's true bond each for the other one.
who knows if one day I will find it, but until then, I dream on.

Behind that composed look.
Behind all of those shades.
.....................There is me.
A traveller on a journey.
Searching for more.
For a meaning of some sort .
Searching for peace & tranquility.
Love, devotion & all that's in between.

i tried to search you from the obviousness
with the help of the memories I've gathered
but all I am is helpless
perhaps, my memory is all withered

i tried to find you with the clues you have given
all what you had left I tried using
but now even the odds have turned even
still, there is not much finding

even if I won't find you
remember that I tried
though I'm not sure if what we had was true
remember, I'll always be by your side

I walked a mile searching for the sunset
but couldn't quite find it
the storm clouds tried to cover
the trees tried to hide
the darkness tried to smother it

but I still found slivers of color and beauty
covered in clouds
hidden behind trees
smothered by darkness
but still alive
still visible

is this what grief looks like?

darkness slowly eclipsing the beauty of life

Have you found it yet dear?
The happiness you were searching for.
It has been almost 5 years now
5 years since you realised how tough living ... how tough breathing is.
It gets easy at times, for a second you would have found hope.
I know it ... i know it because you would not be reading this if you would have given up.
Are you proud? I am not, because existing shouldnt be an acomplishment. Living is.
I have not lived for a long time, i forgot how it feels.
Maybe you will find it one day till then you shall hope and i shall hope with you.
And when you do i will ask again.
Have you found it yet dear?
The happiness you were searching for.