Last time I trusted someone,
I ended up being an animal head
on their collection wall.

a victim to their survival
renamed “trophy”


- a.r. Camm

Is this me
what have I become
corrupted by darkness
it seems so long since the scarring begun
I thought I would heal
from the torment and hate
mentally and physically
cut with double edged blade

should I just stop now
pain has me hooked
I have no tears left to cry
I cover it up, overlooked
but deep down inside
I try so hard to hide
but scars can last forever
inside, and outside

At dusk
My eyelids fell
Leaving me
Curious

In no time
My eyes had to wander
So up went my lids
Shocked

Just a second passed
I took a look around
The stormy wind blew
Distressed

A moment later
I saw the world tilt
I flew onto the deck
Confused

I was a second too late
As the water soaked my lungs
Salty ocean blades
Overwhelming

As hours went by
I flailed amidst the sea
Blue in the face
Terrified

By dawn, I saw
life, within a wreath
Swimming around an island
Relieved

It could have been days
As I trudged to land
Finally, I reached salvation
Desperately

Then time stopped
And my eyes flew back open
Revealing my room
Awoken

Pale skin
Scarred within
Messy hair
Slightly insane
Drowsy eyes
Broken inside

I feel like I'm breaking
And its only the beginning
I want to get this out my head
Lonely as I am
Broken, bruised and scarred!
The never ending
Nor forgiving
This merciless voice
Inside my head
Think I'm gonna burst my brain
Maybe that is how
My life should end!

Bad posture
Never sober
Always late
Nobody cares
Emotionless face
Violent feedback

And all of this rage
Comes through pain
Cannot deny
Cannot embrace
These voices in my head
Like never ending flame
Running through my veins
Has left me insane!

What have I become?
Such miserable ****!
What am I doing?
What is going on?
Everyone I know
I've distanced myself
Now I don't know what to do
I don't know where to go

Except
Accept
Nothingness
Dissapear in silence
Where I don't become a bother
And I don't want to be bothered
Just Rest In Peace.

I wish I knew back then
What I know right now
Would I still fail horribly?
To contain this curse of misery
Or would I **** my feelings
Instead of killing me

A purple berried
White flowered ****
With intricate petals
Placed in pairs of three

Has spread its roots
Deep into my heart
Branched into both halves
Of my brain

I watch it grow in awe,
As the leaves
Branch symmetrically
Simultaneously wince in agony

As the roots
Are tearing through
The very soil
In which they grew

Do I rip out this
Uninvited beauty
And leave myself
Scarred

Or do I
Let it flourish
And eventually
Engulf my being.

Take care and be careful
riot vans flooding the streets
Live in the moment- be cheerful
While you still can

Eyes glued to the future and scanning,
Never expect things to go to plan;
But the solution is simple and like you
I can seal it with my hands
But I'd rather live my life eyes shut

A widely opened book
With the footprints on my skin to show for it
**** pouring it up, I'm engulfed in it
And threading delicate alibis out of my lonliness

Parading through the chaotic hangover with the ambition

Of a tectonic force.

Halt the advice throw away your opinion
Your lips are rug burnt from all that dragging on
You're doing  nothing is ever
going to get better unless I let it
and that's my path I've got to carve on my own
I've been grown for forever (a term I've already wrote
but now it fits better)  picking apart my reflection
just so I could note the differences between us Both.

The waves of the uncrushable ocean sweeps the sky
like a supernatural flower blossoming beneath a frozen lake
and I extinguish my spliff  happy with where I'm at.
I am finished speaking  I have alot of changes to make.