For my morning run, it rains again.
I run into town every morning anyway.
Some day they'll be flooding, I think, when
the rain realizes it won't stop my foray.
Oddly, no one in this town would blame me then.
I think that's what keeps me on my merry way.

It's hard to step out of my sunny shell, and let the rain soak my hide.
Yet I'll keep smiling when it rains; that means once again I made it outside.

Standing here with a smile painted on
But if you saw past the mask you'd never would have turned away
Hands shaking, swallowing hard
Fearm seems to have taken control over me
I thought I had taken control over my life from the drugs
But fear saw an opportunity and took it
Now I'm hiding from the darkness outside
looking over my shoulder at every noise
Hope no one notices the sweat dripping from my brow
I'm trying to let someone know
but fear's got me by the throat
My words are trying to climbe out of my throat before it closes
but time is running out
And I'm wondering if we'll have enough time for them to climb out
I keep hoping someone will see past the mask
Because in the contract I can't take it off
Otherwise I may turn black and blue
I'm checking around the corner and under my bed
Like I'm searching for the boogeyman
when the only thing I'm going to find is looking back at me in the mirror
But fear is pushing me to the corner
hands on my throat
threatening my life as if it were worth nothing yet everything

If he makes you feel like you are just the sum of your flesh and bones, run away. Run as fast as you can and do not dare look back. The rush of cold air will light your lungs on fire anyway, but keep running until your legs give out and you find yourself somewhere far away.  Once you leave the past behind, you are no longer a girl with stringy hair and beady eyes who fell asleep every night with her throat burning of choked-back tears and missing him. You are no longer the empty girl who counted seconds waiting for a sign to stay. You are, and always will be, greater than the sum of the stars in the sky. You are the bird's song and the rain's hum. You are every seedling sprouting in an open field, but you yourself are responsible for your new beginning. Do not let anyone tell you that you are equal to the scars that scatter your skin or the empty face staring back at you in the mirror. When you finally find yourself somewhere far, far away, I hope you also find who you really are.

To the darkness she venture
Fighting the cold night
Although this sounds like one big adventure
Things are not all right

she's trying to escape the hell one calls 'home'
Away into the wild she roam

I guess escaping is her best bet
Away from the hurtful threats

Deciding to free herself from all this drama
as she tries to heal from the trauma

Nobody knows how hard her life is
Sometimes it feels like life is one big quiz
Nevertheless, one thing she will never do is...forgive...

So off she went
Breathing the new life's scent
The only thing she feels now....is content

That's all I ever do.
Run from emotions
Run from people
Run from problems
Run from the unknown
Run from life.
It's time for me to stop running from all of these things.
They will never stop.
If they break me I will pick up the pieces and try again, until I win.
It's time for the tables to turn

i've had a share of
new england boys,
tall,
with long legs
that tangled with mine,
long hair
that loved to be played with,
lips that smiled
and kissed me a hundred times
after smoking a joint,
arms
that never held tightly enough,
and words,
oh their words,
were oh so sweet,
but oh, so unreal.
a promise of happy endings
that never came true.
so i find myself
running away from these
new england boys.