Looking into details of each and everything and all that happened in life,
one thing is for sure,
experience gained since prior paves a way for better expertise,
if the desire is for the same with regards to better future.

I am restless of what is left. An empty shell that was once so full. Being drained over time, with its contents close to empty. It seems as though punishment over shadows, for something that was never caused.

But why, for any reason, am i being treated thus. There are no explanations to such actions, or there lack off.

Frailty in promises, which seem to multiply over time. Yet, i linger, not wanting to give up. Its it foolishness or bravery? What governs me so to my actions? What is to become of me?

Im empty of love,
But whiting that emptiness
I still share an illusion love
The see them smiley.
But my heart is humble
And never cease to share more love.

The computer dried my eyes out while streaming TV shows for a couple hours.
After being mentally exhausted my heart grows vulnerable.
My depressing thoughts cloud my head with toxic; mustard gas.
I can only escape reality for so long.
What now?
Not everyone can feel comfortable at home.
12:21 A.M.
I look outside my house to find the dimly lit streets welcoming my mind.
I grab my keys.
I grab my phone.
I grab my cigarettes.
Let's go for a walk...
"How are you feeling?"
*******.

Far from arms length, further in terms of time.
Restless nights multiply effortlessly.
Hope lingering past beyond points of doubt.
Chances abused, but an abundance equal to the piece's of my heart.
Determination upon a questionable creature.
But rather face this storm then regret it all.
I falter in pursuit, more so at night.

stretch
Breathe,
Find the foot of your bed,
Unwrap  the arm from around your head,

sigh
Smile,
The anxiety  is gone,
just for a while.

yawn
Tire,
Feel your  body ache with desire ,
Check the time, Youve got a while.

colapse*
Relax ,
The world  turns slowly,
So for 5 more minutes,
You can watch your heart sleep.

When the world is asleep and my back aches from the tension
I lay and stare
The sliver of light that sneaks in from the busy street below can only hold my attention for so long
My eyes wander and find the back of your head
Looking away from me eyes closed no worries
While lightning bolts slice down my spine
My eyes heavy with sleep my body electrocuted and on fire
No calming me now
You told me once to find a happy place
There are so many I know there are but I can't find them
Calm ocean scenes interrupted by tsunamis
Family holidays with earth shattering accidents
Laying on your chest and the ground moves as you tell me you're leaving me
Is my mind playing tricks or is it all impending doom
The storm in my body shocks my brain and I can't tell the difference between real and dreams
Or is it my reality now
Not sleeping just staring
Envious of you, as you are oblivious of the weather in our bed

... I've been here all along!
My atoms were there for the big bang.
Through black holes and galaxies.
A 7 billion year journey across the universe.

My atoms were made in the belly of a star.
A celestial being imploded so life was free to be.
Like a Phoenix rising from the ashes, that star would resurrect.
Like a bad time lapse on the BBC those elements I collect.

I've been here all along, here I'll always be!
But you have made me scared, time ticks to fast to see.
If there's no 4th dimension, I can't come back to you.
And If our last kiss has passed me by, eternity will cease to be.

Humans are funny little beings; they fall.
Falling recklessly in and out of varying degrees of affection; they tell.
Telling each other half-truths and half-lies; they reveal.
Revealing their most closely guarded secrets at a slip of the tongue; they feel.
Feeling emotions unforeseen by their own cortical matter; they think.
Thinking about futures that may never even be theirs to live; they breathe.
Breathing the love that clouds the air and developing immunity; they write.
Writing vague poetry to soothe their noisy souls; they hope.
Hoping the universe really does have a plan for them; they journey.
Journeying through that amusing series of events they call a life; they live.
Living- really living through it all.

fidget change move
i'm honestly interested, i swear
change move fidget
i'm not trying to interrupt, i'm sorry
move fidget change
i don't understand, i'm trying
fidget move change
i can't sit still, i'm restless
change fidget move
i want to learn, i'm doing my best
move change fidget*
i need to do something, i'm going crazy