Would my last breath
Bring you more relief
Than grief?
With the sod replaced
And me underneath,
Would you feel like your life
Was returned by it's thief?
Would your heart
Match your belief?

...please respond...

©2024

someimes i get jealous.

what's there not to be jealous about?

she's

perfect.


she replaced me.

and now,


im just a background character.

We have been apart a week
My memory has been all but erased
Six years we lasted together
Am I so easily replaced?

It's like a punch to the stomach
Thought of your hands intertwined
Tried my best to be there for you
In return leave me behind

Part of me in denial
Can't believe this is real
A state of frozen shock
Attempting to grasp how you feel

I wish the choice was mutual
Willing emotions to change
If only I could place your heart in my chest
Give you mine in exchange

You make it look simple
For you moving on isn't hard
I am the only half affected
You clearly are not broken or scarred

How could I mean that little to you?
All that we've been through together
Promised we would start a family
You would stay forever

Now vows belong to a different girl
Robbed from my unsuspecting hands
As your misery decreases
My sorrow simultaneously expands

It hurts to breathe in
Hurts to think
And hurts to open my eyes
Not a second passes without the ache
Cannot tell sunset from sunrise

The days blur into one
Earth keeps spinning around
Whole world is shattering
No one hears the sound

I bear suffering alone
Barely speak your name
Because if I say the words out loud
Can't escape what we became

I try to distract from the emptiness
Hide in my room and get high
Remembering all the warm moments
Over and over asking why

Why was I not enough for you?
Why wouldn't you let me in?
Why does she get to have you for her own?
Questions make head spin

When I finally fall asleep
At peace for a little while
In dreams I'm in your arms again
Morning interrupts my smile

Waking is the very worst part
Faced with overwhelming void
Absence of your touch is crushing
Obstacle I cannot avoid

I hope eventually I will get stronger
Start mending wounds in soul
Until that day arrives I'll shuffle feet forward
In vain ignore the gaping hole

the silence
hurts more
than the
words

It's dark in the room
With only little light coming from
The lamp at the corner of the room
Alone with my thoughts
Wishing I wasn't feeling unknown pain
Oh how I let my mind wonder
With words like...
Oh how I wish I didn't
Wear this mask as if everything is okay
When you the person I thought would never
Break my heart
I thought friendship was forever between us
But I was wrong
I was replaced
Who knew caring so much for someone was
Wrong
Who knew trying to keep the one you love safe
Could lead them to hating you
In the Night
I remember our late night calls
Of laughter on the most random things
People would admire how great friends we
Were
It's all apart of life
I grew up and found my love
But I still wanted my love and having you as my
Best friend
But things happen for the best
You found your love
And replaced me
When I tried managing you and my love
I couldn't help to not want to protect you
You were my sister
You were my shoulder to cry on
But I guess when you found someone
Our daily hang outs became none
Our daily chats about our lives became
About me trying to protect you
Or you saying things that I knew were not like you
Or arguing about our boyfriends
As I tried to defend mine
Since you didn't know much about mine
You were the keeper to my secrets
To my deepest thoughts
But turns out
You were just like everybody else
Wanting to advantage of my innocence
With my generosity
And be okay with being the "hidden plan"
When you were with somebody else
You said you understood what I was going through
When you have never experienced distance
From the one you love
I wanted to save you
Protect you
But I guess I couldn't
You broke me
I shall move on with my life
Deal with the things you spread around that are not true
Deal with the things I only shared with you
To be spread to the whole world
I hope you know
You made me stronger
You also made me trust no one
You may wish bad upon me
But I only wish good for you
This is no hate for you
But only love
I hope you have a bright future
I hope you pursue any dreams you may have
But I will no longer be here
I know you don't care
I have been replaced