Almost ten years its been .It seems like another life.
I think back and it's like watching a memory with a distorted perception.
For this mental deception. guilt feels like a knife.
Why is it blurry and Why are moments void? Why do I forget your voice?Memories I unknowingly destroyed.
I know I care to remember . I know it's easier to forget. But everything you taught me, the wisdom you gave me, the happiness you showed me; I'm forever in your debt.
With so little in hand you had a plan . Foreign surroundings and customs to adapt. Still your dignity, your pride, and your family;  it was all kept intact.
The way you diciplined me or even gave me a reward. I hated it at the moment yet only now i realize it was total love you poured.
Now it's years too late. I never even said goodbye. Written on our foreheads is our predetermined destiny you said. Superstition? Maybe just a lie.
If your story was written down it'd be a cruel one, don't you think? If the man upstairs had this planned all along. He made a chain with a broken link.
You gave me 16 years of your life which is all I knew. The path you paved for me was made, but i needed your guidance too.
A point where a boy becomes a man is where we came to a halt.  I needed you Dad,  I know leaving wasn't your fault.
Who's to blame for a tragic and unexpected loss at such a comfortable state?  "This was God's own will" you'd say.. You'd blame it all on fate.
But today it hit me. We all have plans and dreams we aspire. This fate you faced was real. You suffered so long and Now it's time you retire.
I know you're still working where ever you are. The amount of times you saved me spiritually from afar.
You never really left which is why this pain has stuck. You live in me Dad and my life has run amuck.
I hope youre not looking down and wondering where you went wrong. I don't blame anyone but myself. It was me all along.
I promise that one day ill be the son you always believed in.  It's taking me some time but my patience is wearing thin.
It's a path you set out. It's a path i may have strayed. Success is my goal. The timing a bit delayed.
I may have some doubts and I may have some fear. But with you always beside me. My destiny comes near.
I wrote this all because I felt it had to be done. I needed to explain that no matter what, I'll forever be your son.

You mean more to me than words can express,
Your eyes and your smile light up my world.
Your laughter makes my heart young and free,
Nothing will do to show how much you mean to me!
I'd give up the world to be a part of yours,
I'd stop the world to melt with you.

You complete me, my other self:
What I lack, you can provide.
You fill me up; you make me whole inside.
You understand what I think and how I feel.
I feel more comfortable and at ease when you are close,
We compliment and balance each other.
I treat you with love and care and great respect
For, as you are a part of me, what I do to you I also do to myself.
You are an answer to prayer, a blessing divine:
For when I was created, I swear God must have had you in mind!

Take me to a place where I see nothing but the sky
To lay in the sun and for my dreams to never die
To tell you the truth I am easily amused
There is no need for me to be so confused

Take me to a place that is over the horizon
And where the stars they shine so bright
And lay in the grass until the sun starts risin'
And the crisp morning air becomes a warm light

Take me to place where I can see for miles around
To renew my soul and for hope to be abound
Lately despair has been my one and only friend
Take me to a place where I can let my heart mend

There is not a single soul in sight
Along this lonely stretch of highway
But I feel anything but lonely tonight
I am free to be me, and to do things my way

Ethereal shards glistened in its breath,
radiant light flickered and her wings
were completely enveloped.

Ceasing she was birthed anew its old hands
held her delicately and smiled, stretching
her wings she fluttered off reborn.

“20 ways to repurpose a light bulb”

It tells me I need to start with a good grip around the bulb,
give the solder point a twist and free the brass contact
from the wires leading to the filament. If I make it that far,
I have to break the insulator and pull the filament out
from there. Grabbing the fill tube, I need to empty out the bulb
and wipe it out to get it ready.

I guess I could channel my childhood and turn the bulb
into an aquarium—dropping a little bloodfin tetra in with
a sprig of sea-grass or even make one of three small hanging vases
to put on my wall in the kitchen. If I want to get crafty,
I have directions for a glass sculpture, a holiday ornament,
and seven different size centerpieces.
The real surprises on the list are the light bulb necklace
and the concrete molds for light bulb handles.

Here I am, 4 A.M. on a Saturday morning planted on the couch
peering at the screen through my Jim Bean bottle eyes
and all I see are ways to repurpose this broken bulb
for something new—something it should have never been—
and I wonder why I can’t just grab the oil and a wick and
turn it into what it always wanted to be.

Here's to the New Year
For one filled with hope
Where we conquer the fear
With which we couldn't before cope.

To a year full of promises we mean to keep
To finally getting a good nights sleep.

Here's to a new dawn
One filled with a brighter sun
A day to face with out a yawn
And filled with joy and fun.

To a day for us to be reborn
After being battered and forlorn.

Here's to the new life
And the promises to change
To persevering through last year's strife
And outrunning terror's range.

To all the things that caused us pain
That they might at last bring forth gain.

Here's to the New Year
Filled with great unknowns
To have many days of cheer
And a light to us shown.

Here's to the hope of a better tomorrow
One filled with hope instead of last years sorrows.

Here's to the future me
To never forget the past
That I might always see
How God has built me to last.

Here's to a New Year filled with laughter
And to living life happily ever after.

1/3/14