she told me that I am nothing
by her actions she said there's just something
about you that just flat out disgusts me
and truthfully it's not worth discussing
so for now to her I am nothing

why
what have I done wrong?
waiting cause I haven't heard your voice in so long
still got your number but afraid to dial
cause I've been harboring anxiety and pain for a while

I hate this
why can't it be normal?
but what really is normal?
I said this to you
in my head

but I'll sooner be dead
than say it to you instead
a sad truth that lies with me in my bed
I guess I really am nothing...

I am fortunate that she
can act as though nothing has happened.
It is a mercy!
However, in rejection,
I am afforded one luxury
which makes it all worth it:
She can see, clearly, how I suffer.

your skin creates peace inside me
creating wrinkles in time
i find myself constantly longing to feel you close
for us to create friction between gravity
our inertia to propel us into voids of pleasure
nothing between us is what i desire
but when you deny me
black holes devour me
crushing my guts into pulp
bleeding me with your rejection
i blend till i am nothing from what i began

i'd have given up my poetry for you
blind, drawn by your voice, you lonely bird
i cornered you without even wishing to
but i swear i held the lines in my throat
though they died
i'd have given up my song for you
but you lied and boasted and
cried to me
we were children then, i was a fool
rope at the ready each moment
for i'd have ripped out my dreams for you
and my love was utterly fragmented
back there i whimpered against the staircase
watching the night drawl along
i always knew it'd never be enough for you