Feeling lonely,
You wish for friends in your life,
Forever working,
For what else to do.
But when an opportunity
For fellowship arises,
Feeling lost,
You shy away,
And reject it.
Oh sweet child,
How will you break this pattern
Of monotony,
And disconnection,
And isolation,
If you avoid the one thing you crave?

she told me that I am nothing
by her actions she said there's just something
about you that just flat out disgusts me
and truthfully it's not worth discussing
so for now to her I am nothing

why
what have I done wrong?
waiting cause I haven't heard your voice in so long
still got your number but afraid to dial
cause I've been harboring anxiety and pain for a while

I hate this
why can't it be normal?
but what really is normal?
I said this to you
in my head

but I'll sooner be dead
than say it to you instead
a sad truth that lies with me in my bed
I guess I really am nothing...

I am fortunate that she
can act as though nothing has happened.
It is a mercy!
However, in rejection,
I am afforded one luxury
which makes it all worth it:
She can see, clearly, how I suffer.

your skin creates peace inside me
creating wrinkles in time
i find myself constantly longing to feel you close
for us to create friction between gravity
our inertia to propel us into voids of pleasure
nothing between us is what i desire
but when you deny me
black holes devour me
crushing my guts into pulp
bleeding me with your rejection
i blend till i am nothing from what i began

i'd have given up my poetry for you
blind, drawn by your voice, you lonely bird
i cornered you without even wishing to
but i swear i held the lines in my throat
though they died
i'd have given up my song for you
but you lied and boasted and
cried to me
we were children then, i was a fool
rope at the ready each moment
for i'd have ripped out my dreams for you
and my love was utterly fragmented
back there i whimpered against the staircase
watching the night drawl along
i always knew it'd never be enough for you