I’m missing how it used to be
How you’d seek me out like a little puppy
The sparks flying between us like fireworks
Anticipation building as we engaged in conversation

Then it finally happened on a steamy summer night
The curiosity we had about our bedroom manners
Discovered in an instant moment of gratification
Our bodies tangled as mouths and tongues tasted one another

But as expected things fall apart
We’ve slowly morphed into distant acquaintances
You pay me a visit only when you need to vent
As I listen in silence about the woman you love and hate

Laying wide awake in my bed
Thoughts of you take me over
Pleasing myself at the thought of your mouth
Gifting wet kisses to that sweet spot

You can’t deliver your message to my face
That this short lived connection was just that
Ceasing your exploration of me and my body
Our association has reached its final stop

Ask a question:
Let it dance on your tongue
like a child ballerina —
full of stutters and jumps
and hope.
As it spins circles
through your mind,
tears holes in the soles
of your shoes,
wait.
Let it fall swiftly and fast
so quiet it’s barely a whisper
if that at all.
And with no response,
let the hope fade
with a few tears
and maybe some scrapes
or bruises.
Just as the child,
pick yourself up
and walk towards the door,
allowing one glance behind you
before the soft click of it shutting
is all you can hear
and your locked up dreams
will never even know you were calling.

I waited in vain for your validation
In hopes that maybe you’d see me
The way I saw you, beloved
Sadly, you viewed me like thin air

While I was mesmerized by your cappuccino skin
And the way your hair danced in the wind
You couldn’t give a **** about me
I was just one of many who looked your way

Even as I would ignore you in plain sight
I would beg for your attention in my head
But you only threw crumbs at me
Like I was some lost street pigeon

Keep your linty crumbs for someone else
The hell you think you are?
I am deserving of so much riches
Yet I feel like some vagabond

i was just accepting rejection
i’ve been receiving the lesson
walking through pain to the

ultimate blessing

Tell someone you like their stuff
They never like your stuff again
Boy, this crowd's insanely tough
Great place to make a friend

Rejection, it is painful!

I lauch myself at the idea of hope,
I throw myself into the notion of happiness,
I jump head first into something that could be,

Each and every time all I recieve is REJECTION

The steady reminder that I am not wanted,
The sharp feeling of not being choosen,
The constant pain of being unworthy,

Unworthy of being loved, of being the person that is picked
Being someone that is seen as being desirable, wanting to jump head first with me into something that could be,

But rejection, the reminder that what could be is indeed nothing more than a mere fleeting feeling.

Feeling lonely,
You wish for friends in your life,
Forever working,
For what else to do.
But when an opportunity
For fellowship arises,
Feeling lost,
You shy away,
And reject it.
Oh sweet child,
How will you break this pattern
Of monotony,
And disconnection,
And isolation,
If you avoid the one thing you crave?