I'd like to say
Our love is like
Even if our pieces
And hands don't
The picture we
Made together will always
In our memories.
first official poem of 2019
my mom thinks it’s a hickey on my neck
and i’d rather her think that
than know it’s from your fingers
clamping my throat shut
Everyone is living their fairytale
While I’m living in hell
Come back to me already
Let's make this right
Mend this hole and close it tight
No one has to ever know
The deep cuts created
The harmful words spoke
Let’s go back to the way things were
Before you shattered my heart
Before everything between you and me fell apart
One of these days
I will be on deck, put pedals on my boat
Low it down the deepest streams
And you will watch me as I slowly sail away
Towards the ocean, underneath a stormy sky
Floating ahead of the hightest tides
There I will dive in with everything that I am
Wash away your promises and love notes
Feed your rebukes and blames to the sharks
Then one day
I will return, not for you
'Cause I will not know a thing about you but I will notice you if you dare try to take advantage of my Amnesia
This is a note to self: I will never come back to you, despite your changes. I lost track of who you were before I even left, so let's be these strangers.
It's not the lack of your words that get to me,
I can go without any for days
It is the lack of emotion I see in your eyes,
That fire that burned so fiercely for me at one stage.....
that is gone
That right there,
That gets to me
I needed to get this out, these words have been making circles in my head, and I have been trying to avoid it.
It has no structure or have any words that rhyme. Just raw emotion, I guess I needed to see this, to finally make it real.
I go back to the park
Where we met, as strangers
I sit on the wooden bench
Where you cuddled me
Thoughts of that foggy night
Suddenly cross my mind
I feel numb
I could still taste you on my tongue
Letting go of what you never had
Is the hardest task of all
I wore that today with my coke cola sweater....
And a coke bottle figure
I wore it like i had something to prove
Cuz losing you is the worst newz
I recieved this year
I used to stare from afar and dream
Now i just wonder why u ****** up things
Or why i even tried
Now i try to live a lie
And try not to stare and try not to hate
Try not to love
The very shape of your face
And your smile
And your hair
And im in air
And today i wore my coke cola sweater
And a coke bottle figure
With a little missing you
And it was the hardest thing to do
U used to be a daydream
Now youre just misery
And u try your best to inflict the most pain
Im just insane
Youre doing nothing
AND im not a thought on your mind
I never got an ounce of your time
When all you did was occupy mine
You were a movement
So i wore my heartbreak
And a coke cola sweater
With a coke bottle figure
And it was the hardest thing to feel nothing at all
About you I was so curious,
But now I am so furious.
Your lies and cheating left me broken,
From under your spell I’ve finally awoken.
In the beginning there’s such intense love,
It was like you were a gift sent from above.
I honestly believed all the things you said,
Knowing it was all lies makes me wish I was dead.
I listened with empathy about your toxic ex’s,
About bad bosses, family issues and all your other vex’s.
You listened intently about all my woes
I bet you top the list of Narcissist pros.
You watched me & learnt what my life was lacking,
Asking me what I’d need to make my life cracking.
You then moulded yourself into my knight in shining armour,
Once I’d given you my heart & soul you then unleashed the drama.
Six weeks into our love affair your mask suddenly fell,
Hunting out new supply, a game you play so well.
A new victim was selected & you started up your act,
Trying to fill the void that her life did lack.
Again you played your part so well, she was putty in your hands,
By me finding out it ruined all your vile plans.
I should’ve stayed away back then but I believed we were destined to be,
Everyone warned me of the monster you were but I was too blind to see.
You carried on with Liz for nearly a year
I think I stayed anyway out of fear
I wanted our future, I wanted our happy ending
The impossible dream is over it’s now time to start mending.
sometimes i miss our friendship
and i miss the summers spent
playing volleyball in your backyard
with the boy from down the street
but then i stop and think
of how horrible you were to me
you weren't a real friend
you used me as a crutch during your suicidal days
yet i was alone and weeping over life
you hurt me emotionally
and to pretend like you cared
i'd receive gifts and plastic tears
with choreographed paragraphs filled with apologies
and i forgave you time and time again
it's days when i miss you, the happy you,
that i accept that the happy you isn't here anymore
and i stop missing you
because with you i forgot what friendship was
because without you i can sleep again
because with you i'm confined to only you
because without you i'm happy
and surrounded by people willing to teach me
what a real and healthy friendship is