I have lived
Wishing I did better
Than what I have
Done before

Wishing I could turn
Back and do things
Right and better than
What I did

So many what ifs in the world
What ifs inside my head
What if I was someone
What if I became someone

What if I lived
Which I used
To be before

Have I changed?
I probably did
Because now,
I'm confused and fed up

From who I am
To what I want
What I need
Who I need

There are so many
Questions, popping
In my head
Thinking
What couldve been

I want to cry
Its so hard not to let
Everything I feel out

Flicker
Breathe
I close my eyes
Taking a deep breath
Why am I here again?
Why?
Is there something important
For me to do?
Was there ever?
My body is always sore
Everyday it hurts
Why do I keep going?
I wait for my body to give up
For my time to stop
For the days to finally end
I’ve said I’m fine
But never really was
I’ve dreamt of places far away
But never really got there
Those places I want to go
To disappear
And call them home
Help me
An echoing voice in my head
A convincing smile
This is my lie
A lie no one has ever seen through
They never will
The voice responds
Help me
Another smile
Why can no one hear
No one hears
No one

It isn't always an imperfect meaning.
Nor never as flawless as we wish it to be.
These constant cycles are in place to keep the masses sane.
Distracted from the fact that they will live and die in the same fashion.
In small.
Insignificant.
Boxes.
Much like the time Punch cards that enslave them.
Even with evolution of time the average worker is still.
Just binary..
Infinitly encoded to mediocrity which sadly.
Has no bottom.
Nor was one programed.
But by the sweat of our forefathers did they carve a place.
For the next generation to pick up and sew the seeds for the next.
And so on.
And so on..
And so on...
Until some one with more wit than grit comes along.
To dissolve the mundane routine.
And possibly shake free from the chains of old.
But with so many ready to turn the other cheek.
That time.
could be some time away.

Hallo! It's Ash, and I'm sorry I haven't been able to upload anything recently. I've been going through state testing prep work(boooring) so now that I have finished the Math test, I can write this(yay!). So let's answer some basic questions! Also, if you're just reading this on the home page, check out my other poems on my channel! Thanks!

Age: 14
Birth Name: Rylie Ashtyn Lucas
Nickname: Ashtyn( or Ash)
Gender: Female
Grade: 8
Pronouns: She, Her
****** Orientation: Panromantic, Asexual
Best Friend: Maxyyyyyyy (his poem: https://hellopoetry.com/poem/2405991/dear-maxwell/)
Siblings? How Many?: Yes, 5 brothers that I love dearly( except the eldest, he's evil..)
Birthday: December 15th, 2003
Birth Location: Landstuhl, Germany
Coke Or Pepsi: Coke
1 "addiction": Pinterest

Thanks y'all, sorry for not uploading recently. It's been hectic, not just with school, but also a lot of family drama(if you want more info, message me!)

Love ya!-Ash(tyn)

What am I to you?


What am I to you?  Which words do you hear?
When I speak only truth and face my fears.
What am I to do, when I don’t know what comes next?
If this is all we are, then what is left?


What am I to you, if not an impostor?
What am I to do, to become even clearer?
What doesn’t ring true, when you view my minds picture?
I follow no footsteps and I am no leader.


I walk in solitude, wary of facing a deceiver.
I am what I am; I am my own special creation.
Breathe into me, so I can take you into my heart
And not be left here alone feeling vacant.


Devoid of empathy and lacking understanding;
Who am I to complain to you, when I am winning!?
Who are you to judge me?  I am unworthy of a glance;
But the fire in my hands will breathe new life into your romance.


(C)2016 Aa Harvey. All Rights Reserved.

That person wants to make people happy
But that one is not.

How did God created a world
When he does not have at first.

How does a road end
And where did it start

That person's questions
Have no answers

As to why that person lives
Or why that person hates to live

Hates to leave
Yet wants to be alone

The surroundings and being surrounded
Is cruel in all possible ways

Gone


Drink myself into oblivion,
Let me be the forgotten son.
The forgotten one;
I will soon be forgotten and gone.


Gone from you, gone from this place;
I want to be gone from this space with no kind of grace.
I want to find out if Heaven is real or just a myth on a piece of paper.
I believe, I don’t believe, I will believe when I meet my maker.


I thought I knew how to belong,
Now all I do is wrong
And all I feel inside is, I want to be gone.


Now we are gone to become the ones,
Who disappeared, like we have become God’s.
Our skeletons shall be the only mark we leave on this planet,
My poetry my only indent on this Earth;
My existence will disappear when the electricity is gone.


Thinking about you shows me how little I knew you.
Who are you?  What did you believe?  What did you do?
Any question answered, it’s all in front of our eyes;
Still we cannot choose which question to ask.  Which question is right?


You may call it intuition, or you may call it a day,
But there is nobody left to call when they have all been sent away.
We live in but a second, we exist for an instant;
We are soon to be gone, so make a good impression.
We are here, then soon enough our time has been spent;
We never accomplish all our goals, before our death sets in.


Now I am gone;
I am higher than the sun.
I walk alongside God;
I am humble before Him/Her and all I want is to not be forgotten.


(C)2016 Aa Harvey. All Rights Reserved.

What is
A soulmate?

is it someone who
knows
everything about you
without needing to be told?

Or is it someone who
completes you?

Are they supposed to be
your other half?

Do you need to be
completely
dependent
on each other?

Can a soulmate be
a friend?

Do you know exactly
who it is
the moment you meet them?

Do you only have one soulmate?
certainly there
(or somewhere).

What if you
aren't in
Love?