A hand scribbles violently.
The pen carving through the lined paper.
Black Ink spilling out of the deep cuts,
Soaking into the pristine page.
Words blocking out the light,
By illuminating knowledge.
Strong, scared, and weary hands fight.

Solvent and solution
Kept assuaged for so long
Treading in the selfishness of my subconscious state
Of barely traceable memories, spurred on by the gravity of time spent
At the briefest hint at past involvement

Each leaf falls, eventually.
Every pristine little well formed tended to.
Each nurtured, cared for, parcel or idea.

I can watch them for hours
Watching them fall, one by one, for hours.
When days start to bleed together, out of the corner of my eye,
I can always see them, marking progression.
Collecting in drifts, then, taken by the wind, then
The rot sets in.

I used to watch this.

I used to find time.

The roof cast me in its shadow, even standing along the banister that runs along the length

Even as the final rays of sun start to vanish one at a time

As the inclement weather crash all over the city,
I discovered the untitled disc of a lost movie
I turn the t.v on and saw the family
Gaining something in return called ‘sympathy’

Surreptitious pictures of the impecunious
Propitious time for those opulent
Impudent behavior, Gratuitous violence
Amorphous hope and lucid nightmares

Misery, anguish, sorrow and pain
Hapless child hold tight to God
Pathetic story will end soon
as the morning sun dissipate the fog

Worry less, pristine day will come to heal your soul and broken heart

A rose is beautiful to behold
Its stem a pain to hold
Though easier to hold
Is a rose without thorns
Really a rose
Pristine and true?

I want to tell you I'm okay
and that all is peachy keen.
I want to say I'm doing fine
and that my grades are pristine
but I alone am not enough
and despite my desperate need
for control I think I need help
of the medical persuasion,
and I'd like to think I'm strong
on my own,
but honey have you tried *******?

Climbing in the scorching heat of sun,
Sweat tickling down, I put my hair in a bun.
“I can do it, I have to do it!” , I kept chanting,
Bone tired, at every step was left panting.
There was no scope for looking back,
I had come a long way, with everything pack.
Still the destination was a long way from there,
Wondered what if it leads me nowhere?

Albeit being alone, it was a race,
All the obstacles, individually had to face.
Had been served betrayal and left wincing,
The shudder of rage and pain is still pinching.
But I have to complete this journey on my own,
For the incepting seed, I myself had sown.
The crooked and rough road bit my feet,
Still I ink what I feel on this little sheet.

When it is dark, I feel fear,
Slowly down the cheek comes the only tear.
Till miles away can hear just my voice,
Realisation dawns that this is the fruit of my choice.
I garner all the courage in me,
Up high my goal with a smile I then see.
If I am able to climb this one,
Maybe I don’t have to further run.

So with the morning a new hope comes,
Positivity dissolves the insignificant fear lumps.
I begin my journey once again,
With the faith that this time efforts won’t go in vain.
As I come closer to my ambition,
Travels in me a new alien sensation.
I feel lighter at heart as my soul relaxes,
For this view I’ll pay all kinds of taxes.

I have finally climbed this mountain of life,
I have achieved for what I had strife.
The view from up here takes my breath away,
As amongst the overwhelming emotions I sway.
Tears trickle down my face and then a full blown sob,
I have got it all back that was once from me rob!
The purity and serenity  of this white expanse,
Has finally provided me with the ultimate chance.


I able to comprehend the gospel truth of this place,
I wondered if below there is any such trace.
All the pathos one can aspire for,
Here you get, be it sweet or sour.
I see how the mountain stretch till the horizon,
It tells me how much today I have won.
The clear sky above gives room to my thought,
The dense forests below tell me of the battles I had fought.

Th altitude tells the worth of what I have achieved,
My breathing brings life to what I have never believed.
It all is actually in the mind,
You decide how you want your life to be bind.
Nobody can take your dreams from you,
Because this fabric you know how you sew.
Nobody else has the same information,
This is you and you are your creation.

After I live in the moment there,
Pops in my head the question, “Now where?”
Life is a climb, it is a mountain range,
You climb one up, comes another strange.
Ups and downs are part of life,
Flower at one end, other with a knife.
Nothing can take you down, so never whine,
Never stop climbing, and everyday you’ll shine!

-Jahanvi Goyal
10/05/2014