Lord, help me be open so that I can receive Your Will
Help me be silent so that I can hear Your Will
Grant me courage Lord so that I can do Your Will.
Amen

the streets buzzing with tourists and outsiders
taking over our city with their suburban bravado.
i choose to remain in the coolness of my home.
away from society - a voluntary banishment.

with an aching void and a punishing responsibility,
a freedom not taken for granted, but neglected.

aimless and without passion.
hopeless and without ambition.
helpless and without provision.

falling from great heights with no hope of return,
i pray for a calling, a mission, or a path.

This month I call you Saviour.

Mostly, instinctively
I call to you as Lord-God and Father.
Typically these are the names
I call to mind at early dawn.

But this month you are Saviour
as I become more acutely drawn
to my need to call on your saving grace
on your sacrificial willingness
to cast off the trappings
wrapped up with heavenly glory
to embrace the blood and the mess
that comes with small town nativity.

This month I address
my Hosannas to you,
my divine infant Saviour.

So often I fall into sin. More often than not, it's the same one or two. I fall down again and again and it's hard to not get discouraged. I heard a beautiful song today that said "a saint is just a sinner who fell down... and got back up again. There are good days, weary days and bad days, but in the end the good days outweigh the bad days and so I won't complain". To me, it's a simple and beautiful reminder of something we all too often forget. In a contemplation from St. Thomas Merton, it said that hell is hatred and it's a hatred not of other, but of what we know others see in ourselves. It is the "curse of shattered sight". (A secular TV reference, but well applicable for these purposes). Sin is a symptom of this shattered sight as well. It is a desire for the good, but the good is twisted and distorted and we are caught in the trap of "looking for love in all the wrong places". We see the worst things that other people see in us and fail to see the good. We end up turning against each other and destroying ourselves. The love that satisfies and fulfills is the love of God for us, his beloved children. He loves us and accepts us for who we are: good, bad, shattered sight and all and he sent His only son to die for us when we were his foe. How great is the Father's love for us! To be truly free, we must admit to ourselves that we are imperfect, and we make mistakes. Even when we ***** up pretty bad, good family and friends still love us, accept us, encourage and challenge us to move forward and keep doing better. If there are those like us who can do that, then surely God, in his perfection, will do that all the more! Accept yourself fully and embrace all of who you are. We cannot truly love others or be loved by others if we don't love ourselves. Next time you fall, remember: Jesus fell (in love) for you, and he fell three times (out of the fullness of love) for you, and got back up again.

Lord Jesus, please grant us the strength and grace to get up again when we fall down. Help us accept and love ourselves without condition as you first did for us. By your grace and mercy, heal us from this shattered sight in accordance with your will and may we find comfort and solace by your side in the shadow of the cross. Amen.

At this moment Lord, I am feeling a little uncomfortable, a little irritable, a little restless. It's not bad, but it certainly isn't pleasant, and I don't know just why. So, Lord, I ask for peace. I ask that you make it go away for I know that you are able, but if it is not your will Lord, help me offer this up for the salvation of souls and that you would ease someone else's discomfort. I unite this moment to the moments when you were also distressed. I offer these prayers and this feeling not for myself, but for the many others who, at this very moment, are in far greater need of your comfort and peace than I.

Lord come to our aid: in your mercy help us

Hear us when we cry out to you Oh Lord
Though we sail the sea of faith
We are buffeted by the trials of life
Tossed about by waves and wind
Lord come to our aid: in your mercy help us

Protect us from danger and grant us peace
Watch over us in our waking and our sleep
Help us remain ever vigilant in our watch
That not one lamb may find itself lost
Lord come to our aid: in your mercy help us

We know you hear our prayers Oh God
For you are good and gracious indeed
You hear the cries of your beloved children
Oh Lord, come swiftly in our time of need
Lord come to our aid: in your mercy help us

When troubles come and hard times assail
Remind us that evil will never prevail
You overcame the world so we shall not fear
Nor, for anything, want as long as you are near
Lord come to our aid: in your mercy help us

You consecrate our lives in your blessed truth
In your compassion fill all of our youth
With love for you and the world outside
Shine your light upon us, your face do not hide
Lord come to our aid: in your mercy help us

Every good thing, Lord, comes
Every good thing comes from you
Every day is showered in blessings
Every morning your graces are new
Every night you watch over us
Lord, keep us safe from harm
Every thing I have is from you
Every thing I am is who you are
Every beat of my heart beats for you
Without your love I fall apart
So when life is only clouds and rain
And all I can feel is sorrow and pain
Give me the eyes to see your rainbow
Give me hope and help me to grow
For, in the ultimate act of derision
Came a far more perfect vision
You took the cross designed for shame
And made a bridge out of the same
In death you destroyed sin and death
And in the span of the very next breath
You restored us to life and made all things new
For, every good thing Lord, comes from you

here i am
holding on
to relics of your love
after all
i was born
to be on my knees
in worship,
searching for salvation
devoting my life
to the scent
of your skin
the trace of your fingers
the memory
of your mouth on mine
and i know now
i would face
all nine levels of hell
just to hear
my name leave your lips
as feverant as prayer
once more.