I will sleep with
       my eyes  o p e n .
I will breathe  u n d e r w a t e r .
I will drink my coffee  c o l d  if that is
what it takes to become less like  y o u .
The thought of being like you is so  p a i n f u l , I'd
rather  d r o w n .
Loving you is the most painful memory-I'd rather
p e e l  off my skin in the places you left your kisses. The places
you bit and licked and left your
l o v e .
Some say, "it is better to have loved and lost, than to have never loved at all."
I cannot bring myself to agree with such words, because the pain of loosing you
was far too much to bear than the idea of never having known you.
Call me a ******* coward for running away from this pain,
but if I have to face it another day,
I would rather
d i e.

I’m sad, I’m numb
I’m lonely, I’m numb
I’m in pain, I’m numb
When you’re with me
I’m happy
When you’re with me
I’m loved
When you leave
I’m sad, lonely, in pain
I’m numb

There isnt any space left to hide
I see you have caught up with me again old friend
I thought I left you behind all those years ago
When I escaped the ruins of childhood
I see that you are a good detective
Always one step behind me
Always lurking in the shadows
Just waiting to confront me
But somehow I knew this day would come
Didn’t think it would be today though
Today was not the day I expected you
I have spent my entire life evading you
And now where else can I hide?
I doubt very much you would understand
And let me go this one last time?
I don’t suppose I could elude you in a bottle of *****
Or perhaps some fantastic day dream
Or even some other destructive pleasure?
I see your face changing, getting angrier
And feel your beckoning becoming more forceful
But I am not ready to confront you now
Please Mr. Past, be patient with me
Depart from me this once again
Today is just too soon
My heart is not ready to feel your sting
And my mind is too restless to think
Tomorrow I promise to deal
Give me another day to prepare myself
Please once more, let me hide
And you seek

I remember how it felt and every dark and angry pain,
the feeling of tender soreness from every ache and throbbing sprain.

I remember ruptured internals and the fire of an appendix burst,
and the excruciating agony at every touch that was loudly cursed.

I remember the touch of many physical pains that left me feeling sore,
But nothing hurts so much as that last time you left my door.

I'm down on the floor,
beggin' You,
my True Faithful Amen,
because it's up to You.
not ending this with, 'amen' -
it's not done, it doesn't end,
not until I see,
my Amen face to face,
saved from this place.
@author_venjarnold

Shards of broken glass across the floor
Mirrors smoking up, my reflection paling as I try my hardest to hold onto my own frail skin
A nightmare I did not expect to greet, a fate that I cannot fleet from
Precious black petals from roses falling to the ground, the twisted thorns painfully surrounding my poor heart
Rain heavily pouring from the sky as the angels cry with anguish
Darling, I have lost you for now, but not forever..
At least that’s what I tell myself
Broken as I ever could feel, I slowly lower my shaking body to the ground
I feel so cold, so empty
Ravenously longing for your sweet, warming embrace
The long curtains swaying quickly as the wind blows violently
The sweet but haunting melodic church bells ringing again and again, reminding me this is all truly and painfully real
Tortured by this grief I shall be, forevermore
Until we meet again.

everything hurts
my head, my heart, my lungs
because everything i thought,
everything i felt,
every breath i took,
started with you.

and somehow, it still ends with you.