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a daydreamer Oct 2018
I keep calling her phone number
even though she always denies me.

And when she answers,
she only says,
"Just enjoy it,
stop worrying
about your future."
I called my future self and she told me to enjoy present.
ash Oct 2018
her thoughts race wildly around her mind,
each one overlapping the last
all screaming for her attention, causing pain to burst from behind her eyes
loneliness screams at the back of her mind
insecurity speaks lowly, whispers somehow echoing louder and louder
doubt creates a fog, muddling into confusion
but anxiety, the loudest voice of all, overpowers everything - becoming all she can hear through the noise
late night ramblings
Kalliope Oct 2018
You can be full of life
Bursting with it
Growing hope inside you
Nauseous with happiness
Heart beating with uncertainty

It takes 5 minutes to strip it away
One choice
One decision
To throw you into a lifetime of
Pain and over thinking
Little sacrifices cause big waves
Iska Oct 2018
I always bother you
though I never try.
I hate the tears
but I cant keep from the cry.
you are everywhere I can never find
everywhere
but by my side
and its pathetic,
I  know it is

and yet...
I cant keep the panic at bay

and still....
anxiety steals my words before i can say

i m i s s y o u

i l o v e y o u

w i l l y o u s t i l l r e t u r n

w i l l i e v e r l e a r n

w i l l y o u l o v e m e i f i d o
    
w i l l y o u l o v e m e i f i d o n o t
to
                    the bird
                                                    who flew
                                                                               away
Begin,
   We see in this moment,

Broken,
   Spoken our ductaped fixes,

The trajectory of the bricks is straight for my heart.

Break apart the arts I've invented in my mind,

Of which you're the inspiration.

Perspiration running down my face,
   As I realize my place in the world.

No space for a broken mind and shrunken heart.

Pull apart the synapses that hold me together,

It's as if,
   Things almost got better...

We all coast to the end of our tracks,
   Via the cracks in our walls.

Who falls through?
   We never know.

It just goes to show,

The most we've ever known,
  is never sleep alone.

~Robert van Lingen
Kelsey McIntyre Oct 2018
Long dark nights staring at the moon
Feeling of coldness creeps into the room

Wanting to run run far away
Hoping to find another place to stay

I feel like an outcast, a person with no friends
I feel like I can never fit in

I need to find a place alone
The one real place to call my own
دema flutter Oct 2018
2:17 PM.
It hits me, I'm late.
2:17 PM - 2:18 PM.
My heart begins to ache.
2:19 PM .
I realize my life is over.
2:20 PM.
I gaze through the car's window into the sky.
2:20 PM.
I question my entire existence.
2:20 PM.
A tear escapes my eye.
2:20 PM.
Driver asks what's wrong.
2:20 PM.
"I'm late, again." I say out loud.
2:21 PM.
I realize I'm actually 3 hours and 39 minutes early.
2:22 PM.
My heart continues to ache; my life isn't over. Ugh.
Cedric Oct 2018
To write wasn’t a passion of mine,
When I learned of life?
My brain suddenly sparked a fire.

You see,
We’re always plunged right into the sea!
I can’t help but swim frantically.

I’m not a swimmer though,
So I kept on sinking.
Towards the abyss.

In a dark place,
I found something darker.
The ink of my pen.

Seeing as my darkness doesn’t compare,
I saw my own darkness as light.
Now I write when it’s night.

I couldn’t make any rhymes,
Just incoherent thoughts.
I wasn’t creative enough.

I couldn’t draw any art,
I couldn’t compose any songs.
All I can do was speak.

Now?
I can just speak without a voice.
This pen of mine speaks.

I’m an open book,
Talk to me and I talk back.
My doubt riddle words.

In my darkest days,
Where my voice doesn’t echo back,
I have my pen.

Light isn’t a reflection of others.
It’s a spark within your headspace.
When everything else disappears.
I’m in a dark place, and whenver I’m down here, I write whatever I can. Raw thoughts, incoherent, abstract, random, gibberish, trash. I writ when I’m down, it’s an outlet to plunge myself deeper so I could die and respawn. My creativity doesn’t exist; only destruction on paper.
Cherisse May Oct 2018
there's too many happenings lately;
it almost feels like
a floodgate breaking due to unseen circumstances,
the water gushing out, roaring, filling the silence with its cries.

it's as if everything feels like
an overwhelming amount of an odd concoction
of what seems to be problems,
diluted only by what i can assume is my sanity.

it's as if i'm drowning, my legs pulled deeper and deeper
underwater, everything and nothing all at once,
trying to fill my lungs until I choke;
there's too much of the world that i cannot simply take in.

and yet, look at me;
the feeling of drowning, the feeling of hopelessness
paralyzes me, fear drilling itself into my mind,
as it advances far into numerous possibilities i can only describe as overthinking.
i describe my own anxiety really badly.

but i do feel bad for being paralyzed in bed, because my undiagnosed anxiety and depression has been pretty bad lately.

I get called lazy when I'm paralyzed with my thoughts. I don't even know anymore. I can't even talk to my own friend anymore.
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