Somehow I found
A way to get lost in you
Let me inside
Let me get close to you
Change your mind
I'll get lost
If you want me to
Somehow I found
A way to get lost in you

I want to hold your hands
And tell you everything I see
When I'm with you.

Every single sunrise I see in your smile
Every single ray of moonlight
I feel on my body
When you look at me

Every single sliver of ice I feel
Tracing down my back
When you kiss me
And caress my face

Every single burn
That singes my skin and my cheeks
When you touch me
And tell me I'm beautiful

I want you to see
What I see

Feel
What I feel

Because maybe if you did

You'd finally know the sheer magnitude of how much I truly love you.
And how much you affect me

again, I find myself awake.
I’m sure you’re asleep, in his arms, wound tightly and pressing your body against his
I’m sure you’re asleep, with his face in your hair wafting in your sweet aroma
I’m sure you’re asleep, dreaming of the life you’ll live with the man you chose over me
I know you don’t think of me anymore, and when I message you, you say you still love me
but those are only words, and words don’t comfort me on these lonely nights
words don’t lie next to me in this half empty bed under the slivers of moonlight
words aren’t remedies for heartbreak nor antidotes for love sickness
If you did love me, then why is it that you reply the next day and apologize because you were so busy with him
If you did love me, why did you move in with him, how come I can see his presence in all of the snapchats you send me
If you did love me, why did you choose him over me, how come you can have two hearts and I’ve nary a one
I’m sure you’re asleep,  blissfully unaware that I lay awake thinking of you
when you wake up, your first thought will be of him
when you wake up, your first sight will be his face
when you wake up, your first smile will be for him
and when you fall back asleep, you’ll have spent the whole day without even thinking of me once
you’ll fall back asleep, and I’ll still be awake, tortured every agonizing moment thinking of you
but just because I’m awake, doesn’t mean I’m not tired
I wish I could sleep
forever

I don’t get it
Please help me understand how your promises of “forever”,
Are already over,
I seem to lack the understanding as to how I was your “everything”
But now I don’t seem to be anything to you but a ******* game,
Is this fun for you?
It’s a shame I’m backing out, this game is for two
Have fun playing by yourself.
It’s interesting how you tell me your friends have nothing to say to me
Yet it seems you still have things to say to them about me
And even your closest friends are in my inbox, trying to learn my side of what’s going on here.
Hm.
Go ahead and mock me
I dare you, call me crazy
Tell your friends I’m obsessed with you or whatever helps you sleep through the night,
But know that I’m getting my rest regardless.
Because I went from
“Oh my God, he doesn’t even care anymore”
To
“You know what, I don’t even care anymore”
And now every night I sleep great.
What’s funny is you begged me for a chance,
I sent you away yet you still came crawling back
So I don’t understand what the hell you’re playing
Do I amuse you?
Or are you simply trying to seem cool?
Cause it’s weird how you were crystal clear about how you used to feel
But now you can’t seem to remember how to express your emotions
See, I’m starting to wonder if you had any to begin with
Or was this all just a run through?
A twisted, ****** up way of seeing how much I would do for you?
You might as well tell me now, you have nothing to lose
Not anymore
See you already ****** up
You already lost the girl who’d have done anything for you
Because you were too **** stubborn to care about her

Why are we so
Obsessed,
with the liquid paint
that we slather on our
faces-
morning after morning?

We stroll the isles of
Fifty shades of Nudes
to find the shade
that makes us look like
Painted glass
Porcelain dolls,
and Fake.

Why?
Why are we so obsessed with
Maybelline and
Covergirl and
Elf?
The brands that contour
our faces
and create an illusion
a canvas
Over-painted by
Overpriced
Chemicals.

Beauty costs
Money.
Youth.
Clear skin.
But it brings this sense of
false hope that
maybe-
we can accept ourselves
after we put on this paint
and call it beauty.

We see Photoshop,
the blurred lines,
the perfect wing,
and the rosy shade of blush
that seems perfectly
Fake.
Too perfect to be real
Too perfect to be real.

And yet we strive,
for this unattainable beauty.
The **** we see on
Facebook
YouTube
Instagram
drives us crazy
because no matter how hard we try
no matter how much we waste
we can’t seem to get that
contour right
and that wing sharp
and that mascara clump-less
and that lipstick perfect.

And even though
we cannot seem to get it right,
we buy
we strive
to be the perfect shade of perfection.
Because we’re obsessed.

Everyone is so obsessed with
      trying to find Sanity
While I'm just keeping to myself,
      praying not to ever be.

The Sanity that you all want and yearn for and desire
Is nothing more than living in a world engulfed in **Fire