If ancient Gods’ gaze upon me with judgement,
Judge evenly.
Judge not your errors,
Witness your loose fingers carving
Misery one whisper at a time.
Observe male and male actions of
Understanding; where does this burden carry you?

If tyranny is the call of man
The conscious invisibility murdered your perfection.
Call man a beast and watch beasts roam the earth.
To whom do you call in distress?
Darlings gone rogue,
Or was this foretold?
I cannot call upon you; I never have.

Call this a confession of poisoned sin:
In acquaintance, love and kin
I cannot trace your value.
So call onto me, oh merciful monster,
All the injustices of the world for us to fix.
For all we mortals can really do is understand,

Forgive and carry on with the great burden
Of self-destruction and
Inflicted preservation.

What has happened to me,
to my social skills?
Frantic, and panicked,
are not conditionally ideal.

I want you to like me,
I want you to see.
To see through my awkwardness,
and help set me free.

I do talk too much,
my mouth won’t shut up.
It’s like the relay in my brain,
is broken, or corrupt.

I’m not usually like this,
I hear my mouth say.
Constantly apologizing,
and then you’ve gone away.

I want to explain,
the jumbled mess of my head.
But I don’t know how to do it,
without making it worse instead.

No I’m not weird,
I’ve just been alone.
Social skills need exercise,
and mine are skin and bones.

When you walk away,
another part of me dies.
Part of me wants to explain,
and part of me wants to cry.

Im turning into two people,
the oddball and the norm.
When they try to coexist,
it creates the perfect storm.

So no, I don’t blame you,
for walking away.
Just know that I’m sorry,
for being this way.

the sky turned black today.
everyone acted as if this was normal.
why? am i crazy or is the sky black?
i was the only one who noticed, the only one who cared.
i got lost.
no-one looks down corridors or stairways or dark alleys anymore.
as they no what happened.
as their own sky's turned black, they ran. they knew what type of person would pounce.
i didn't know.
i didn't run away from the black sky.
but i stayed. and now i have to.
i have no choice.
confidence.
thats all i need.
give it to me. please.

normality: a paved road