and only I am
and that is my sadness
and that is my sadness
from what is in the world
just me alone
and nobody else and nothing else

all around and further pictures
all around and forever alone patterns
only drawings only
music and nobody else and nothing else
and it's all ready and just me and listen
only me and me and nobody else

and who else no one can
everything is music and i'm just a listener
only I exist only I
and all around one mirage in which
and I've never really been
which i just look at and see

01.11.18

wanted rest
wanted loneliness but
nobody but nobody
but no one was going
give it to me

wanted rest
wanted solitude
but no one ever
never and never
not to give and not to give

turn off the alarm
and don't get up anymore
never get up again
and never and never
forever to be in the same dreams

25.10.18

Scary when you can go all day without saying a word. At some point you end up in restaurants and grocery stores hoping someone who works there will ask you what you want, if they can help you find what you're looking for. And you will say I hope so but I don't know if anyone can.

You can say I'm nobody,
But I am something, I'm not a body,
I bring in a force, not of reckoning,
I don't have the devil by the horns
I'd rather scorn those who sit so serious.
We can burn down this city,
Torch the town to ash with me
But only to laugh that it really hit the ground
Don't worry, we are all survivors, all around.
I don't need your money, don't insult my mind.
I'm a soldier of a different kind.

You can say I'm nobody,
In a sea of passing people populating a plot
Because the train for me just doesn't stop,
Time doesn't move for me and it doesn't not
I'm here like you with a name attached
But from me to you, I'm just a faceless man
I'm not special, I didn't participate,
I didn't do good or great and most of your demons,
I am nobody, so how could I relate?

I could say you are nobody,
Or we can shake hands and be now known.
We can discuss our interests, the lives we've grown.
We can be special in a sense that I made you so,
We can have heated discussions making time slow
Or laugh until the sun dawns then sets.
But truly i must admit,  I'm in a hurry and must be going.
Sincerely,
a nobody someone almost met.

“Divide it among nobody!”
they say,
“Share it with the numbers!
Feed it to the armies that await!
Don’t let the dead starve in their graves-
For they hunger and thirst most of all.
Let the water grace their lips!
Let the it splash upon the despised desert
that once was a field full of flowers.
Let food fill the stomach with a stormful sea!
Let their harbor rest in peace!
For they hunger like a haggard man holding on for hope.
Let them take a breathe and exhale it.
Let their lungs fill with life so they can shout and sing!
Let their brains buzz and be, so ours no longer must!
-For only they have the notes and the lyrics to sing what once was dear!
For they only can sing the long forgotten years!
Let us not forget their voices in vain!”
they shout,
“why should we let their bare bones be satisfied in their somber slumber?
For they only are in alive in a memory,
Only awake in one’s sleep-
And even those shall cease to be!”
They say,
“Please listen to our candid pleas.
We speak for those who do not speak.
Their whispers only leave a faint trace of beguile on a painted cheek
that grow quieter and quieter still.
For they wish to be more than teachers
whose mistakes and triumphs are showcased for all to see.
They wish to be more than di’en.
They wish to be alive like you and me.”

They were wrong.