Like **** on sewer,
Dark news floats on the page;
Sick, nauseating!

Here it comes again
--the acid creeping up my throat
Reminding me that the motion I perceive with my eyes
Does not coincide
With the motion of my mind.
The fluid in my ears, I find
Being steered by forces hidden behind
A curtain blinding my sight.

When I was six, the sickness would hit
When I was in the backseat going down winding streets.
The pain, I claimed, came from my jaw
But it wasn’t long until they saw
Splattered across the back bench of the car
--I was motion sick.

As a teen, cleaned from this curse,
Steering the machines that once made me squeam,
I thought I was free.
Until vertigo creeped into my seams.
Clear sight, but a spinning mind!
A crystal displaced in the skull behind my face
Would trace every turn through, as if it was reality who had forgotten to move.

Now nausea creeps in again as my mind perceives a reality that once again, my eyes can’t see.

All of my hopes
and dreams

so real to me…

But when my eyes look out to reality, they are nowhere
to be
seen
And it makes me feel
So
Nauseous

I’M FEELING IT AGAIN.

ALL THE ******* NAUSEA

Do ya ever feel that way?

You probably have a few times in your life.

But have ya ever felt it CONSTANTLY?

Every.
Single.
*******.
Day.
I feel it.

Sometimes it’s for a few hours.

But a lot of the time, it’s all **** day.

ALL **** DAY.

I’m so uncomfortable all the time.

Because of NAUSEA.

******* NAUSEA.

Forgive me for being a little bitter.

I’m just a little<a lot>nauseated.

Sometimes I feel sick and tired.
It usually goes away after a day.
But lately I've felt worse.
I've felt nauseated.
I've felt like crying.
And all for what?

I thought it was just a depressive episode.
I thought I would feel better after a few hours of crying.
But I just feel worse.
I feel more sick and tired.
The feeling that I will throw up anytime won't go away.
Why do I feel this way?

I think it's because I feel so lonely.
I feel isolated from the world around me.
Yeah, I hang out with friends a lot.
But I never really feel there.
It's just so exhausting.
Why is this happening?

I've always wanted a pet.
To help me feel comforted.
And make me stop feeling lonely.
But sadly I can't have one.
And I will be alone for what feels like forever.
Why is the world so cruel?

My isolation follows me.
It's there when I wake up.
It's there when I'm with other people.
It's even there to tuck me in at night.
I still feel queasy.
Why is it so involved in my life?

Why am I asking so many questions?
Why is the light of the screen making my nausea worse?
Why can't I stop crying?
Why can't I think clearly?
Why do I feel so lonely?
Why?

Kisses
Why bother?
With "niceties"
(Tasted like me screaming anyway)

You
Only wanted
What you took
(My unmoving body somehow begging for it?)

As if
Between my legs
Was a place you owned
(It is not mine anymore)

In hazy
Alcoholic
(All my fault)
Swings
Of semi consciousness

I
Barely felt you
Until the next morning
(I always feel you now)



(Everywhere)

Morning sickness is a pain.
Morning sickness makes it hard to gain
healthy weight for my baby boy.
My best friend is made of porcelain.
Joy...