Why ain't I able to move on from you and your memories, Why you always makes me yours through my dreams, Just wish me once, to be like you, and then perhaps I'll lead an ecstatic life like you.

milk jade spiders
stowaways   from our past home
a pout of breeding pouch
appears
our new home   is similarly blessed

Embrace the future's call
treasure the present's glow
and transcend the bygone flow.

My good friend taught me that all you need is three suitcases.
A life can fit into three: two checked bags and a carryon.

What if I packed up all my possessions:
1.
My clothes.
My apprehension, doubts and fears tucked tightly away in packing cubes.
2.
My electronics.
My independence, self reliance and self love radiating brightly.
3.
My books.
My excitement, joy and optimism for a new chapter.

What if I did not renew my lease in September?
Whose approval am I waiting for?
Who do I think I will disappoint?

It does not have to be permanent.
It could be just a year.
And then it could change again.
Is that not the beauty of life?
Your life grows around the decisions you make.

You are never stuck.
You can decide.
Again.
Again.
Again.

You were my entire night sky
Now I drive home in the dark without looking up

The songs that reminded me of you still play on the radio
But I don't think of that summer in the city when I hear them anymore

I fell in love again
And I want to tell you I hate it because it's not the same
It never could be

Seasons change and so did we
I'm better now in some ways but without you feels worse

And I wonder if you feel the same

Ashes we may fall,
Into our sorrows puddle,
Shall we rise anew.

The water, calm or rowdy, comes in, slowly.
Swarming tides soon become too much,
Drowning me-
And I remain motionless,
As I fear nothing or, am paralyzed by fear,
No, the real movement comes when I am lost.
As I try to find my way time and time again.
Begging for the waters to return,
For true motion to return,
And for my tears to freely flow into the water once more.

I’m just twirling in the center of my room.
I’ve got way too much to do.
Has that ever happened to you?

I’m assailed, derailed and impaled by indecision.
I can’t find my lucky pencil and I have a final in 90 minutes
I have lab results to qualify and a term paper to finish.
I have two problem-sets due and I must arrange movers.
Despite my burn-out, I should start packing for move-out.
In order to get our reservations and tickets in hand,
we’ve got to finalize our summer plans.
On my theoretical schedule - I’m behind -
oh, and there’s a mountain of laundry to climb.

In finals week everything is ratcheted up.
and there’s the weighty and unavoidable demands of sleep.
I’m just a girl about to pass out in her room, over-caffeineed,
from chugging a large, iced coffee after 3 hours of sleep.
I’ve read that stress can affect valuations.
I think it’s true.
I twirl.
.
.

Down In the Seine by The Style Council
I Want You Back by Trijntje Oosterhuis
Make a Rainbow by Benny Sings
Let Her Go Into The Darkness by Johnathan Richman