The distance melts my heart and I'm crying your absence in oceans tonight.  The salt burns my face more than usual as I remember choking on water, hoping it would buy us more time to say I love you before we drowned.

I close my eyes and remember watching the sky with you when everything was moving too fast.
It made me believe that time stood still.

I find myself leaving the window open for you or the stray cats,
and jump whenever the wind whispers something
that sounds like my name.

You're gone and far away,
but can I still call you baby on Sunday mornings?

"Sit up and drink your coffee,
I'll be your saviour and we wont have to go to church today"

I warmly say to the vacant space in my bed.
I still see you sipping your coffee
pretending I put in enough sugar
and sometimes I catch myself setting out two mugs before work,
pretending you're still here.

It's another Sunday morning and I'm sitting in church.
I imagine God speaking to you -
When he speaks, you buckle at the knee's
as he proclaims

"she wants you. You are gone and far away but when you look up at the sky you think of her and it seems hard, buts its simple"

she wants you.

Today I prayed that you'll never go deaf.

Six Sunday's have past since I've gone to church,
and I'm sitting on your side of the bed this morning.
I hear you mockingly whisper into my ear..

"sit up and drink your coffee love, I'll be your saviour and you wont have to go to church today"

I squeeze my mug so tightly that it shatters into 365 pieces, a shard for each day of the year you lied to me. It burns and bleeds and God is laughing at the symbolism of the self inflicted pain derived from not knowing how to let go.

it's been six Sunday's since I've heard my own voice and from the day you left I've stayed awake at night counting the thousand different ways our lips touched, and how this was our way of talking
about things you can't describe with words.
But now I can hardly speak through these water logged lungs.
I try to cuss but I don't recognise my voice unless its singing your name, we spoke a language of our own but you left and cut my tongue out along with my heart and every ****** Sunday I hear God screaming,

"ARE THEY GENTLE WITH YOU? DO THEY TAKE THE TIME TO COUNT YOUR FRECKLES OUT LOUD AND NAME THEM? HAVE THEY WATCHED YOU CRY. HAVE THEY HEARD YOU SPEAK? can you hear yourself speak?      

I look over to that infamous vacancy in my bed and whisper something that sounds like an obituary

"they want to make love
but I have to replace it by holding hands while taking drugs
and I think they know where I go every time
I think they see your face in my eyes,
but they know better than to ask what's on my mind
because they know ill lose the breath from my lungs.."

*they know you are my mother tongue.

Music and Writing
Are far more better
Then Love.

Love always hurts
Give Scares
Makes me alone.

Music and Writing
Heals the wound
Take me out of
My solitude
Makes me realize
Love is not the only
feeling,
The world is full of
Miracles.

Looking forward to a beginning
Everyday will be written a new saga
Few, we shall carry forward
After the ellipsis
Much happens even during a hiatus
We are stretched ahead
Time pulls us away to a new realm
New vistas and landscape
Fresh flowers and aroma
Old vases shall hold them
With much pride
Amidst the new rooms
Every wall has a door
Welcoming the new beginning
Old and new protagonists
Have taken the pledge
To give a new twist to the saga
Sometime we take a turn
Allowing us to reclaim
That was elusive in the past
Fresh ink
Shall fill the void on paper
New chapter, new beginning
Story shall continue
With renewed charm
Miracle do happen
If you believe

Through whimpers and sobs
all night I did pray
for someone who could
sit next to me and stay.

Waiting for a miracle,
I woke up one day
only to find you,
who crossed my way.

I let out a gasp
and a shriek of joy.
You were the one who
didn't treat me like a broken toy.

You came into my life
like an answer to my prayer.
I had searched for a person
like you, everywhere.

Sitting next to me,
you smiled and understood.
You were the only one
to see under my hood.

Though you had problems
and difficulties of your own,
never did you once let
me feel cold and alone.

You were the answer
that I had never found.
Lending a helping hand,
you pulled me off the ground.

You made me laugh.
You made me smile.
You knew me the best
though it had been a little while.

Nobody knew the
relief you bought.
Through pain or gain,
it was you I sought.

Words are all I have,
so I'm writing it here.
You are the miraculous
answer to my prayer.

The first time I saw you
I knew it was love at first sight
The feeling I had was inexpressible.

The butterflies fluttered throughout my whole body
My heart beat was faster then ever before.
Your eyes opened at me for the first time.
I looked in your eyes and told you I loved you.

For a moment I thought I was dreaming,
I never thought I would feel this feeling.
My miracle was in my arms,
Nothing could come between.

My life was just beginning,
as yours was to.
Forever together, Best friends till the end.

I promise to love you through all the things you do.
Your my miracle from above,
Made with tons of love.

My darling baby I will love you forever,
To the moon and back.
I will hold you forever,
and never hold back.

Where is the misty street?
Action, exhaustion, and noise.

Noisy, cold guys calmly shove an old, small car.
Faith is a grimy street.
Where is the misty car?
Where is the grimy street?
Why does the guy shrink?
Work, anger, and love.

Hoods walk!
The rain runs like a cold hood.
Ooh, hope and faith!

Rainbow buses ride the streets.

Cars talk!
Streets run like cold doors.
Hoods stop like noisy sidewalks.
Action is a black cab ride.

Why does the sidewalk shrink?

Where is the fast cigarette?

Never fight a flower.
Cherry blossoms in spring.

Splendid, bustling night market, Dongdaemun
Bright nights of food and fun.

Arirang playing out loud.


© 2014 Ronald J Chapman All Rights Reserved.