i wish there were more ways to say that i found an oasis in the form of your touch
i wish i could count the pains that i carry like satchels everyday
strung off my shoulders
i wish i knew why i refused to let them fall
i wish gravity would just have its way with me
toss me aside and find a new giddy little thing to run this so called world
i wish i knew how to tell you that i want to be a bird
not because they can fly away from here
not because they grace their homes with bright colored feathers i could never adorn
but because they are hollow
they are hollowed out, weak, frail and somehow it makes them stronger
or perhaps i wish not to be hollow
but to filled with something other than you

Poetry,
Its a relationship with yourself,
It's something you've poured into,
Released your emotions,
Entangled them in understandable metaphors,
And buried them in verbose language.

You gift me gold,
bringing back old habits,
remember though that
I never aimed for the stars
nor the way they shine,

I wear the gold around my neck,
with no sparkles in my eyes,
wishing it was silver instead,

you see;
gold bends and stretches,
but silver reflects and deflects,
it can handle reality,
even when things heat up.

Her pleas were a song
Continuous, poignant and long
For who would hear her inaudible pleas?
Chained up in a tower, pleading for keys

The tune was a lullaby
No matter how much anyone was to try
The songbird was imprisoned by the immortal agony and revel
She’d made a deal with the devil

Not knowing of his penalties and tricks
She knew what’s done is done and blunders are difficult to fix
Though even to the most oblivious it was clear
That she was to waste the rest of her immortal life in fear

And so, as she seemed to her subjects as mighty and great
Her own verdicts, her foolishness and actions were like a hefty weight
She wore them under her own skin
Incapable to bear her own sin

Her reflection was something she could not see
For all she sought to do was to get rid of its provoking face and flee
Her soul had been sold
For everything around it, was damp and cold

The devil is not someone rational they told her
Alas she did not heed, therefore misfortune she did stir
The contract was inscribed in blood
And now she was a fearful flood

No one heard her soundless cries
And saw her endless tries
No one heard her hushed pleas
And saw her heart freeze

But her soul had been imprisoned in everlasting misery
And all she had was an aftertaste that felt bitterly
The bitterness of life
Had cut into her humanity with a knife

All she ever aspired was to find meaning
Not turn out to be demeaning
Or be the motive people sealed their doors at night

And why men carried guns with fright

She may have been the fiend of the town
With a malicious crown
But all she craved to be was an angel with wings
Though all she did was dangle from the devil’s strings

I shiver
and
I writhe
The temperature
continues
to rise
Pain pushes
tears out
of my eyes
Fever came
to visit me
last night
And She
didn't leave
this time
And I never stopped to wonder why.

Body broken
Paralysed is
the mind
Ears tired
of the
preacher's advice
Eyes crave
a shield from
the sunshine
A hand to
caress beneath
the hairline
A pledge
of healing
from inside
Oh, you fool. You are so naive.


Vanquished by
the collective
apathy of reality
Imprisoned,
I swallow these
chemicals with servility
I shelter them
In the bloodstream
Treat the symptoms
Not the disease
I know
She will return again
someday with a surprise
And even though I am
Terrified
I will just take a pill
and tell Her I am fine.

writing words of revolutions
with the real stories
scribbled out between the lines
encased in beautiful metaphors
hidden in plain sight
1/30/2019

the universe has its own way
of making me
feel things.

it has this
warped perspective
and i know how much
it makes me feel
awful sometimes,
but maybe
it has its own
reasons.

the people
that surround me,
remind me of the stars
in the night sky.
they twinkle, and
they look dreamy.
but they don't happen
to be aligned all the time.

the frustration
bites me heavily.
but somehow, like other
people do,
they all thank their
lucky stars,
even though they
don't have a reason
to do so.

it's funny how
the universe makes me
wonder if they
really care.
maybe it's all in
my head --
sometimes i lack
the love i need in my life.

i hope that
the universe, tonight
can align all the
constellations.
because somehow i miss them
all too dearly.