A verdict was reached today. A jury of my peers depicted my character flaws and the judgement ruled I am an awful human being. The defense tried to argue the validity of my consistency towards psychosis but the commonwealth didn’t buy it. Now I’m left here, awaiting my sentence.... as if I wasn’t already serving it. When time is a mere construct that passes awfully slow. What is to make of concrete walls when I’ve been trapped within the square my entire existence? A little more time. A few more dreadful stares. As if any of it really matters at all? Just give me my ball to bounce against the walls of this construct until my time is over. Satisfaction is a mere state of mind and perhaps if I get the angle just right it will catapult back in my face and end it all for good.

My first life lasted long enough
A wife I loved and children real stuff
The war changed everything
Family dead except for my son
where was he when we won?
Forget it all

My second life a depressed teen
Counselors fail to make me clean
Phonographs and tapes
The start of my new life
Why do I keep thinking of my wife?
Forget it all

Third life wasn't strong
Discrimination with my hair long
Women disguises aren't the best in 1900's
This goes with my fourth and fifth
I really wish this was a myth
Forget it all

Sixth was really fun
Did some drugs and went to clubs
Became a show host
They all found out
They started to shout
Forget it all

Aute Lun didn't go to heaven
Nothing phased number seven
His life did not last

Number eight was burned to the steak
That hurt I needed a break

Poor sweet number nine
His bills made him commit
Suicide

Ten and Eleven
Nearly became convicted felons
But they got too sick to even try
Forget it all
All these lives
Do they matter?
Just forget...

Number 12 was one of the longest
A guy by the name of Alex Coneales
I was finally myself again
I made a friend or two
They help me through
They never know

Wilson Maxwell a friend with laughs
He found my tapes, my phonographs
We exchange our secrets
He says he'll help me no matter what
He knows too much so I keep shut
I'M SCARED
FORGET IT ALL

Maybe you were nothing more than a Friday night

Maybe right now as you read this you’re feeling alone, friends nonexistent
Maybe you feel as if no one is ever going to love you because why would they?
Maybe you don’t see how someone can like someone who sees love as something so distant
Maybe all you’re trying to do is escape the society that is hunting you like their pray.

Maybe everyone around is growing up starting families and getting jobs
Maybe everyone is getting success while all you get is failure
and maybe all you can think is ‘what am I doing wrong’ when is it going to be?
Am I not allowed to be happy, am I not good enough as just me?

I won’t tell you that it’s going to be alright
People tell me that all the time, but they can’t promise me and I can’t promise you either
but I promise you that you are never alone and sometimes that can feel like a breather.

Friends right?
They're the best thing you can have,
I have a friend
they are so lovely to me
they love
me.

For who I am as a thing
a girl
I stay
at the place, myself with them
they look
at me and they speak kindly
how do you get your charms...

I laugh
I think they're lying to me
I say
should you not ask someone else?
I
am
----
how
can
you
not
see
that.

They smile
what are you talking about
you're flat out gorgeous!

my eyes light up
oh dear god...
I'm so dumb
they
love
me
for
who
I
truly
am