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Mayah Nance Mar 2016
I hide behind the words on the page
Living the lives of characters from another's brain
Their adventures are my life
I feel their broken hearts
My hot, salty tears spill on the page with their words
Their pain is my pain
And their triumphs fill me with pride

I hide behind the words on the page
Because this bland world holds no interest to me
Because my life is sleep, school, work
And I want to live; not just survive
A conglomeration of twenty-three letters
Across hundreds and hundreds of pages
Is like love at first sight

I live behind the words on the page
Because I can see not just the world
But worlds beyond the farthest reach of my imagination
Worlds full of magic and love, glory and defeat, creatures of night
Where I can live an entire life in the span of two-thousand pages
Then do it all over again
The words on the page are the songs in my heart
And I cannot wait to see how the next one starts
Copyright© 2016
Mayah Nance Oct 2015
I don't want to 'chill'; I want to be courted.
I want to dance under the stars, not in a club.
Let's get lost and lay out, looking at the sky and sneaking side glimpse of each other when one of us isn't looking.
I don't need you to spend all your money on shiny things.
Just one that glistens on my finger when you get on one knee.
Let's spin around until we collapse in a fit of laughs.
Get me a bouquet of roses, with a fake one in the middle,
And say, "I'll love you until the last one dies."
Use every one of those cheesy pick up lines from every chick flick you've ever seen,
Because I guarantee you'll win me faster.
I know my heart is so young,
But my soul has some mileage.
What can I say, though?
There's nothing like a good, old-fashioned kind of love.
Copyright © 2015
Mayah Nance Feb 2016
Surrounded by strangers who love me.
[Un]strangers made strange by pain.
Words the same as always, the same as nothing, when nothing is the same.

Lost and last to know; lost and last to love.
I am the last one lost.
For you cannot see even a bubble; once it is popped.
Falling not flying.

One lost, ****** word, like the lost worlds between you and me.
We love what we love and who.
We love who we love and why.
We love why we love and find a falling shoelace knotted & strung between the fingers of strangers.
Strangers made strange by love.

With arms around me: dancing and hurried.
I see your face: pale and worried.
Bargaining with a life that isn't mine to bargain with isn't a bargain at all.
But, misery doesn't come cheap.
Now, I've found the missing piece.
My breath; my heart; my memory.
Me.
The other half, the missing half.

Entombed by the laws of physics; the laws of love.
Of time and space and the [in]between place.
[In]between you and me and where we are.
Because, I'm lost and looking; looking & lost.
Copyright © 2016
Mayah Nance Nov 2015
I am a bright girl with bright hair to hide the darkness in her heart.
I wonder, will my life will ever get easier than this?
I hear my laboured breathing every day.
I see the the ever-darkening shadows under my eyes every night.
I want to find the light at the end of this never-ending tunnel
For I am a bright girl with bright hair to hide the darkness in her heart.

I pretend that I am a normal, teenage girl.
I feel the weight of the world on my broad shoulders.
I touch the stars and escape to a whole other world.
I worry that I am nothing but an ever empty shell.
I cry when the barrier I worked so hard to build, begins to crack.
I pretend that I am a normal, teenage girl.

I understand I am just a small piece of a big world.
I say I can do whatever I put my mind to.
I dream of my name going down in history and my face one everyone knows.
I try to be a good person, even though I’m bad at the best of times.
I hope to be more than a small town girl trapped in the shadow of this ever-changing world
Alas, I am a bright girl with bright hair to hide the darkness in her heart
Copyright © 2015
Mayah Nance Oct 2015
Today is a silent day.
A "lost in thought" kind of day.
When reality is not my first choice because my mind focuses on all the sharp, pointy things
And Today is not the day to succumb to sharp, pointy things.
I'd be fine if it wasn't for this book I started today.
Today's book is about a girl who likes sharp, pointy things.
And they keep describing it in such vivid details,
I can almost feel my skin splitting and a river pouring out.
But, Today can't be the day I break.
I've traded the sharp, pointy things for paint brushes
And the only designs on my wrists are done in pen.
But, Today, the world is weighing on me
And I just can't escape.
148 days is such a hard number to obtain.
And zero so easily found
But, I will reach 149.
Today will be mad
But, Tomorrow will be proud.
Mayah Nance Oct 2015
Eyes always full of tears,
And I never know why.
Mayah Nance Sep 2015
My safe place.
My little place.
My little, safe place.
Your Ruby walls embrace me when the tears fall relentlessly.
Your music caresses me when my body seizes violently.
Your smells of frankincense swirl around me as my lungs fight to catch their next breath.
But, my little, safe place is always there for me.
When the cold sweats are sliding down my pale skin, your presence reminds me it will be over soon.
Oh, my little place.
My safe place.
I would be lost without you.
Mayah Nance Aug 2015
Have you ever had a feeling you can't explain?
Lost and alone
In love and in pain
When you want to cry and scream and punch things until your knuckles become a ******, bruised mess.
And, at the same time you want to to be wrapped in the arms of your lover with your ear pressed to their chest?
But, there's so many feelings, you get overwhelmed and shut down
And you find yourself staring blankly at a wall for hours with nothing but a frown.
That feeling that envelopes your mind so it's empty and whirring at the same time.
The one that won't go away no matter how hard you try.
Yes? No? Maybe it's just me.
But I've got that feeling and it makes me want to scream.
Copyright ©
Mayah Nance Apr 2015
The light of the sky darkens
And clouds roll in thick
Lightening flashes in my eyes
Thunder cracks like a snapped twig
All the happiness is drained away
As the clouds swell in pride
I lay on the ground, cold and drained
I've lost all my fight
Suddenly the ground quivers
All the structures shake
Raindrops gush from the near-black sky
And I'm slowly washed away
Mayah Nance Mar 2015
Cheers to the girl with a mind bigger on the inside than it is on the outside
Tears to the mad woman who can never keep up with the up side and the down side
Yes to the silly girl, the happy girl, the fun girl searching for adventures
No to the mature girl, the scary girl, the dark girl making choices and suffering consequences
Fun for the mad woman that sees world after world
Done is the good girl that has gone to war
This girl and this mad woman, living side by side
One in the dark and one in the light
But under the skin, in their two hearts, where the truth really hides
You'll find nothing but fear, guilt, rejection, and lies
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