1.  I still see lightning
Through the fog.
I still see crosses
When I close my eyes
So many lost

2.  When my Eyes  are open
I see the Hurt the Broken
the Time spent Unspoken

3.  The Cracks                          Grand canyon size.
Missiles fired with abandon because there was no plan.
Mutually assured destruction

4.  Borne By a Single  Thought
Doubt.
When it's presence graces our minds
Faith finds It hard to Spark Through.

5.  Or Does it?
We cannot park in neutral every time the stop signs cross our path.
Peddling back and Forth When Swirling Bright Red anger Darkness to wrath.

6.  I wade through the RIVER OF SOULS
being drained by time and torment.

7.  But its worth it for you and it always will be.
You are my salvation and example.
Made bright by comparison to this Darkest Night.

8.  And with Hard work and Love....
Maybe we can save each other.

That was my weakness
I think
A lot
When someone says
You must do it the right way
What if it isn't?
Maybe the wrong could be the right
Maybe all along, we were all wrong

So what happens when we die?
For that
Why are we living in this world?
Are we being watched by some force?
Or are we just some parasite
Like the old age dinosaurs?
Why does people believe in the past
When future is progress?
And past was rust
Do we belong in here?
Or the galaxy is empty with lonely stars
Situated far away from one another?

There are a lot of things
I think
That might destroy my faith
Or restore it with solid evidences

Maybe i’m foolish
Maybe i’m too kind
Maybe i'm stubborn
Maybe it's your laugh
Or your rockin ***
Complemented by the nice smile

Maybe I should get out of my seat.
Maybe I should talk to you
Maybe I should not have tripped on my shoelaces
Maybe I should complement your tattoo
Maybe we should talk so much
That the librarian has to kick us out for letting out that laugh you have.

Maybe you like me
Maybe you are just trying to be friendly
Maybe you are a pushover
Maybe i'm just being too aggressive
Maybe I should take you out to dinner
Maybe I should look at your beautiful eyes when I ask
Instead of snow angels on the ground with my feet

Maybe you said yes
Maybe I thought you said yes
Maybe you didn't mean to say yes
Either or im jazzed
Maybe I should wear a bowtie
Maybe I should wear suspenders
Maybe both….**** it
Maybe you likes chinese
Or Maybe indian!
Maybe I should ask
Or maybe I should take initiative

Maybe I should knock on her door
Or ring the doorbell!
Maybe I should give you the time of your life!
And maybe I will go stargazing
But It would just me staring at you
Because the stars are in your eyes
Maybe I'll tilt my head in
And feel your lips pressed into mine
And maybe you will never have
To have a first date ever again

But I don't
I don't approach you in that library
I don't compliment your tattoos
I don't even hear your thoughts
That make you mentally shout at night
You won’t even teach me how to dance
Or how to deal with your parents who wouldn't like me
Instead I just watch from afar
You look at me
Which forces me to make snow angels on the ground with my feet
As you grab your books
And leave the library.

Maybe, maybe, maybe
Maybe you love me or maybe
it’s an illusion of what I so deeply
yearn to feel.

Maybe I’m just in love with the idea
of what could be
Maybe it’s not us who are meant to be

Maybe love isn’t for us
Maybe we’re going in the wrong direction
Maybe we need more than just someone to trust
Maybe we have too high expectations

Maybe I love you
Maybe I don’t
Either way, maybe you need to know.

.... it's normal...maybe it's not,
maybe, i overdo it....yet, i still do it...
i always think of things to come
...at day time....even late nights,
thinking too much of my children
my children's children...i must always
be there...for when they need help...
i worry too about my siblings
i even think of my siblings' brood
my dear friends and their worries
...thinking how i can help them...
later, i get weary....fed up at times,
exhausted from worrying, wondering
how i could offer even a bit of a remedy
especially when they are too far to be
touched warmly...or, my hands are tied,
....or, not that long to reach out...

i realize before long...i am not alone
decidedly, i refuse to be solaced
by the thought, that my worries
could just be pebbles...not rocks...
i musn't compare at all....

(excerpts from an old posted poem...edited)

Sally

© Rosalia Rosario A. Bayan
    May 20, 2018

all for you
is just that
all for you
but maybe not you
and maybe a you far off in the future
but it's you
you i don't know yet
or maybe i do know you
but it's for you
because it's all for you
all of this
all of us
all of these
lead to you
everything i have ever done
everything i do
everything i will do
will lead me to you
so here it is

it's all for you