I didn't write this one. Its actually part of spoken poetry lyrics .. im sharing it because I feel like start to finish I can relate to every word, every feeling.  I consider myself the girl behind the mask



The girl behind the mask doesnt understand the beauty, is in the eye of the beholder, and it doesnt matter how many times I have told her she still relies on the opinions of people of who dont realize that what they see as shy is in fact the feeling of lonley,
The feeling of whatever she does Is not quite good enough, the feeling of constantly disappointing the people closest who only want to see her happy,
But instead they have to watch the detoeratation and can do nothing.  They hope and pray that one day the girl behind the mask will finally say with content and honesty to herself "IM HAPPY "
I can put these feelings of no self worth on the shelf and live on, build up my life and repair myself from the past, 
And can finally say to myself that at last " IVE DONE IT"

I've beat the demons inside my soul, the demons that made my thoughts and life cold,
The ones that made me contemplate my life, my confidence,  my existence and my future,  made me feel hurt that cant be fixed with a suture,

The girl behind the mask doesnt see that her strength shines so much brighter, you see the girl behind the mask doesnt know what she is capable of, it's as if how blind to how happy she makes everyone, she puts a smile on a face of the person feeling down, shes blind to the fact that she can turn a sad day around, and make people smile from ear to ear,
But when she takes off the mask she's filled with nothing but fear,  fear of what the next day brings her, as if she's waiting for her sentence and there's nothing but rumours being spread around about her.

The girl behind the masks is the definition of beauty , the meaning of strength, she needs to know thats its the duty, of everyone who cares to help in the fight, to make her realize that her life is her life, to understand that there is nothing to be afraid of, she has family and friends that will show  depression what they are made of,


The girl behind the mask needs to lift her head up and open her eyes and realize  that she'll never be alone and as much as she may feel it, the pain she is feeling now.... happiness will heal it


So be strong and proud of the person you are because with strength and power the end of these feeling isn't far, and you can smile,dance, and sing  live thr life that u were deprived from, the life you have not yet felt..  the life u lived contemplating overdose or the rope. The feeling of eating was hell, the life u lived where everything goes wrong you will be free from all the anxiety and pain

Look at yourself in the mirror and  say these words to your self, "why  am I letting this control me, look at your beauty. As hard as it seems you need to smile.  Its your duty,  then see your pain as a emotional journey, 

Remember certainly there is a destination waiting for u to be happy at last..  but please be strong stay strong the girl behind the mask

You are a lantern
And I am but a moth,
Gazing in awe at your beauty and welcoming presence.
As if in a trance, I draw near
And bask in your warm light
Too enveloped in your grace
To notice the corpses littering the floor.
You burn my once-gorgeous wings until I can no longer fly,
You sear my retinas so all I can see is you,
And yet I can’t leave, too reliant on your heat.
And just like that, a switch is flipped.
Your light goes out.
And I am left alone with only the wreckage you brought me
And the knowledge
That it’s all my fault.

Emotions race
And thoughts begin to follow
Happiness is ripped away
In just one second

Back and fourth
Inside the mind
Like a scale
With the heavier
Always falling to the bottom

The positive wants to be there
But the rest wont allow it
It seems like it is showing
But in reality
That is the mask

The feeling of lonliness
Cannot be shooken
No matter the strength used

He just wants to feel belonged
But life is quick to show
The others that are
While keeping him in the dark