Forgive me my love, for I always want you
All I expect is for you to want me that much too
Be afraid when I’m about to leave, clinginess and everything else
At times, I might be stubborn, but not to forget till my hair is no auburn,
I will love you, ‘till my dying day
By your side I will always lay
If your happiness would need me without
I love you so much, I would gladly walk out
For that will give mein liebing joy,
I have no say, just for you to enjoy,
Mostly, I could be stupid, yes I know
But I feel bad when I give you sorrow
Answer my questions, I’ll keep on asking ‘till there’s no tomorrow
Be patient with me, don’t be cold as snow,
Please stop being snappy,
That doesn’t make me happy,
All I want every time is to see you smile,
Even if that would send me off a mile.

I’m fading away, backing off from life.
Echoes of joy and faults pass like falling stars.
Every day has a few drops less of strife.
Silent shrapnel crashes in soft and witless shards.
And I’m shrinking from the Now;
I couldn’t even tell you how.

Moments of ecstasy and pain are sealed,
Like shrines to a life I still know.
Etched in summer’s softness or in steel.
I am vanishing, but I don’t know where I’ll go.
My once-beloved and my son are here.
One ignores me, while the other
Watches in helpless fear.

Five A.M and I am by myself…again.
Sun washes in with sorrow in its face.
For the thousands of times, I have slept alone,
I feel like a stranger in this place,
I once called our home.
Now it’s a cage to me,
Filled with broken promises and mis-matched lace.

I am going now, heading toward the West.
Leaving memories and pain behind with a sleeping wife..
Every day brings me closer to an end
Leaves fly in the road behind me, remnants of a life.
I am crying for the misspent years.
But no more of those; I am changing, switching gears.

September 17, 2010
Edited – January 5, 2016

Where are you?
Inside of me
But I can't feel you
You're too far gone

But, I know
We will carry on
All we have to do
Is remain strong

I am broken
When you are strong
I can't do this anymore
I'm too far gone
But maybe you
You can bring me back
In spite of what
You and I lack

We will carry on
All we have to do
Is be strong

Won't be long now
Til we're standing there
Together we'll reign
When life's not fair

We'll be there together
Our soul will entwine
Forever and ever
It'll All Be Fine

All we have to do
Is remain strong
Together
As One
We'll Carry On

There was a hard lock down drill at my school today.
This means that we had a practice run of what would we would do if
there was a shooting.
We hid under desks, behind walls, and inside cabinets.
There were whispers among students,
because we all knew that it was just a drill.
A practice.
Made up.
We all knew it wasn't real.

But what if it was real?
What if the last time I took a breath,
was in my fifth period history class?
What if I never got to see the outside walls of my high school again?
I never got to college?
Got married?
Had children?
What if my entire life story was washed away because someone decided to take a gun into my school, and take the lives of innocent students?

World, was has happened to you?
Why do so many feel like they have to take the lives of innocent people, in order to gain something for themselves?
Why are we letting this happen?

My biggest concern isn't what I'll do in math next week, or what tests my teachers have planned.
It's if we'll make it that far.

It was 8:45 after my bathe
I dried my *** and put my favorite moisturizer
Looking at my reflection I’m feeling ****
So I put red lipstick on and decided to wear my see-through lingerie

I went to distract my husband playing virtual game, PUBG specifically
He drew attention to me — his hand is caressing my face, you’re gorgeous he said
He then pressed his lips against mine and started talking...
Talking back to his playmates about what strategy are they going to use
So I went to bed to write this lol