A gift to make my day
Grace me with your presence
Then take it all away

Well, if that's all you can do
Then you can keep it
Because I've dealt with so much worse
Than just your ******* silent treatment

I’ll smile
For attention
And then **** it
Within seconds
Cause you’re dumb

Thought I never openly brag on it
I never found it something to dwell on
You made a gift so emotional that it could never be bought
So inspirational it must be felt and not taught
Then life happened, and so did you
Changing to somebody I could barely view
You spent your days at parties and bashes, long forgetting your truest friends
You left our messages on red and blue, and even when I waited for you
You never rung back

You greatly post about your life, as if you beg for the attention
And looking back and taking some introspection
I realize we were the sun and the moon
Always to be apart, always to have a pull and push
Always to end things early, always to say goodbye too soon
Never ready and never to see the use

I'd ping you motivation and say your eyes spark into the souls of millions
You'd see this message and reply later as if my response is vermillion
You'd say I ignore you for having nothing to work with
And yet I adored you even when you thought I wouldn't persist
Months on end a single ping from you is all I wanted
and seconds on end my response time made you astonished

Many call you out to your way of delaying friendships, to keep them on hold and return when you are in pieces
To have us piece you back together because you learnt this world is vicious
You even told me you find my concern for you so alarming, how anybody so genuine could love "****" like you
And even now I second guess before I throw blame and hit skew

You called guys manipulative and even called my lack of time a game
Yet always cried and pleaded when we called you out for the same
So determined to keep a guy on the line while lusting for another
You find it naïve of me to not act like your brother
It's saddening to think we may never find comfort in speaking again
And where I wished you at every occasion, you never wished me a happy birthday
You never told me happy Birthday

And if I grow, the harvest will be mine and only mine
Because I am my own and you are yours.

The soil does not reap the rewards of the roots which brought forth spring bloom nor autumn crop.
The cloud which carried rainfall does not demand praise for the leaves it fed.
The sun does seek praise for the flower its rays coaxed heavenward
And you will not take credit for my soul and it’s abundance.
That is between me and my creator.

you build me a castle
but you give me no room
to be myself
to feel myself

i know he's not mine
has never been mine

but i wanna be his favorite
the kind of girl he'll never forget
i wanna be the kind of girl
that you can't help but regret
i know i'm nothing special
just another ex
but godfuckingdammit
i wanna be the best

always fighting that urge for control
the urge to break a heart and hold it just out of reach
pull people in and then push them back
keep them just far enough, so they cant help but stay
without ever touching me, or breaking my heart
and turning out more and more
empty, angry, painful people
just. like. me.