the desire to unwrap your ego, imagination, and ingenuity
drives me to heights I have not seen.
as I can't look at the ground when I search for you, but always looking up high above me.
you are a flower on a hill.
a tall sunflower, always reaching to the sun and its stars.
sunflowers don't look down away from its sun,
for looking down destroys their shine.
it is why you do not see me, looking up at you while you look to the sky

Don't move or make no noise.
They react to the sound.
This place was once a shopping mall,
now there's bodies all around.

Such dread!
they're searching with soulless eyes,
From sun up,until sundown!

Their broken wailing, unearthly cry.
"THE END IS NIGH!"
My picket sign once read.
I'm forced to lie here and play dead.
They search for the living-with no rest-
I'm alive because of putrid, rotting, flesh.

I dare not make a move.
in this food court.
this unholy mess.
I lie underneath defiled remains,
insides ripped out from their chest.
I dwell within these monster's nest.
Subsist beneath decaying stench of death.
It covers my scent well:
The undead react harshly
to how the living smell.

This new world-I can't tell,
Is this hell, or a fiendish fresh start?
Are they really so different?
I can't tell either world apart.
fear has always been a substance
Pumping through my old heart.
In those days I was ignored or-
they would notice,then shudder.
While folks that lived-well,
well: they ate one another.

I'd fall asleep by night.
under street lamps shivering, uncovered.
Lived my life as a ghost.
haunted those who walked by:
My picketsign.
My shaking fist.
"THE END IS NIGH!!!"
I was cast aside;I did not exist.
they refused to see me,
Notice me when i speak.
The world was a table
With no room for my seat.

Outside corner stores I'd sit with resentment.

I needed to be noticed.
Yet my efforts never got me closer
To being seen by any ONE of them:
An exquisite type of torture.

I see now so ironic, what i used to beg for:

Maybe zombies are ghosts...
that refuse to be ignored?

Maybe if that man in the store window
-he was standing next to a mannequin-
If he hadn't lost his balance...
I could've began again ...?
But that false life fell.
Futility in his attempt to flee:
They ripped out his throat
before he could even yell.
In the commotion a man with a minor creeps,
Crawling toward the exit,
for a stealthy retreat.
Oh yes! I do see it too.
There's a car parked outside,
its engine running right there in the street.

Six hundred and sixty feet.
Salvation has four wheels, power steering
and leather seats.
Something is shouting in my stomach.
Their opportunity.
Their window is closing to leave with no trace
Seconds stretch as I stand
I connect - making eyes with the man.
Him and the child hesitate.
out in the open, words aren't said,
but I can see his face deliberate.
Too late: they can't turn back.
How to sneak past that last zombie
without a face to face?
It shambles in the path of their escape.
They hide under a counter:

I think its better if that child left here safe.

See.
there is bodies, all around.
Bodies all around.
Bodies.  All.   Around.

Those dead bodies kept me a secret.
Kept me safe and sound.
It's my turn to be that for you.
I nod at the man.
Can you see me?
Witness.
Witness,what I'm about to do.

A rush.
Air fills my lungs.
All fear dissipates.
The four words I yell make the zombies irate.
  
                          " THE!!!

                             END!

                              IS.

                          NIGH!!!!!!!"

**** cretins are closing in;
My two friends sneak deftly by.

I see the man and child look back.
I pick up a baseball bat.
Safely on the street
they both wave goodbye.

                  The end is nigh.

Please notice me.

-

What forlorn nights this lonesome poetry begets.
My voice, attuned to solitude, sings a desolate duet.
The only voice that answers mine is baritone regret;
and yet
I wear my words upon my head: a gaudy coronet.

In twilight's embrace, I sit alone,
Melancholy's touch, a gentle moan.
My heart yearns for you, my dearest love,
In these moments when the stars weep above.

Whispers of your laughter, once so near,
Now dance as echoes, faint and unclear.
Your touch, a brush of fingertips so fine,
Chased away fears, a warmth divine.

Your eyes, a galaxy of love's embrace,
Once held me close in their tender grace.
But now they dwell in distant memory,
Fading embers of a vibrant reverie.

The world, a canvas devoid of hue,
Since the day you bid this realm adieu.
No vibrant strokes, no colors bright,
Just monochrome days and endless night.

I reach out for you, in empty spaces near,
Longing for your touch, your presence so dear.
Silent tears trace paths upon my pillow's crest,
Yearning for your head upon my chest.

Our hearts, once united in rhythmic dance,
Now play a symphony of solitude's expanse.
In night's embrace, your essence I feel,
Yet cruel illusion shatters with dawn's appeal.

Alone, I navigate this world unknown,
An empty vessel in memories sown.
Your absence, an ache that pierces deep,
A void unfillable, where tears still seep.

No time or distance can heal this pain,
In my heart, our love forever remains.
Tethered eternally, our souls entwined,
Until the day our paths realign.

I'll count the stars, and whisper your name,
Hoping my love reaches you, all the same.
Until that day, know you're missed profound,
In depths of my soul, your longing resounds.

Yours in a world where colors fade away,
Ikimi Clifford Festus, forever I'll stay.

I think theres a certain level of self hatred that exists.

It’s very specific but its also the worst kind.

It’s a kind where you disliked one thing at first. Normally because your realised that one thing didn’t seem to you as it does on people.

Or because someone pointed out its difference, saw your unease and then turned it against you.

Either way you didn’t always dislike that thing.
You were uneasy and confused.

The more you pondered on it however, the more uneasy you became, then the unease became dislike.

And at dislike you start to notice it without even wanting to. You see something it you zone out and it invades your mind for a brief moment but then it becomes harder and harder to let go of.

Then the dislike became hatred.

Suddenly that thing is all that you think about. Every time that you’re around people it’s all that you see or hear or feel.

If you’re lucky, for a few fleeting moments, you feel something alternative.

You don’t feel the hate the same way, you let yourself believe it’s all in your head, and you see the part of you as it looked before, as it sounded as it felt, and you dare to call it normal and in extraordinary cases

beautiful.

That is until something snatches you by the throat and plunges you face first into the hatred again.
But it’s that specific type of hatred.

You are suffocated by the thoughts of how that part of you shouldn’t exist.

What do I do if it isn’t a part of me though?

What if it’s all of me, all the time, every single ******* moment?

i tie myself to her every blue move
then try to pull out,
unspool,
the knot in myself
so i
follow you both home
then bruise in the black
hide in the bush
you’ve been beating around
write my petty poems
swallow my love
feel the cold creep
the glossy warmth
you hold i now
cradle memory to my
red cheeks
so i
unlatch my tongue
from my loyal teeth
and
let the blood run
into someone else’s mouth
you know I’ve always seen in green

In shadows cast by a weary heart,
Where solitude weaves its subtle art,
I find myself lost in a lonely abyss,
As feelings of neglect persist.

Once cherished, now a distant ghost,
Love's ember fades, it's what I fear most.
In the depths of my soul, a tempest brews,
Aching echoes of a love I can't lose.

Alone, I stand in a crowded room,
Yearning for connection, a shared bloom.
But like a shadow, I'm unseen, unknown,
By the one I hold dear, my heart's cornerstone.

Unwanted whispers linger in the air,
As my pleas for attention become despair.
Silent tears paint a canvas of sorrow,
As I search for solace in the morrow.

Do I not matter, am I just a ghost?
My heart longs for warmth, the love I miss most.
Yet silence engulfs, a bitter refrain,
Leaving me trapped in this ocean of pain.

But amidst the darkness, a flicker remains,
A glimmer of hope that somehow sustains.
I'll reclaim my worth, my spirit will rise,
And spread my wings beneath desolate skies.

For even in solitude, strength is found,
In the depths of my being, a resounding sound.
I'll learn to embrace my own company,
And find solace in the depths of me.

I'll treasure my heart, its worth untold,
And cherish the love I long to unfold.
For though I may feel alone and ignored,
My spirit won't falter, I won't be ignored.

In time, the wounds will surely heal,
And new beginnings will gently reveal.
That love is not confined to one's embrace,
But flows in abundance through life's vast space.

So, I'll rise from the shadows, embrace the light,
Unburdened by darkness, ready to take flight.
For even in solitude, I'll find my own way,
And love's sweet symphony will guide me each day.

Bathed in trauma, poured on you,
Blindly making excuses, I didn't have a clue,
Unintended harm was not my aim,
I swear, from my heart, that's the truth I claim.

Just give me a chance to prove I can change,
Don't turn away, let's break this estrange,
I've learned my lessons, I'm ready to grow,
I can transform, this I truly know.

Lost in the past, flipping photo albums' pages,
Seeking smiles, wondering through the ages,
But now I see the present with fresh eyes,
Fixing what's wrong, no more disguise.

A shared prison, unaware we both dwelled,
Failed to communicate, the stories we withheld,
I tried to speak of demons deep within,
Unaware they held me tight, drowning in their sin.

I plead for a chance, believe I can mend,
Break free from the covers, where the pain won't extend,
Yesterday's weight won't hold us down,
Together we'll rise, wearing courage as our crown.

Glimpsing photos, memories of distant travels,
Questioning why joy seemed to unravel,
But it's not about them, or what they comprehend,
Finding my worth, letting my true self ascend.

Losing my muse, an ache deep within,
Placing you on a pedestal, where love had once been,
Our best memories like a festival's delight,
But I clung too tightly, clouding our sight.

Hurting you, hurting myself, a tangled mess,
I thought I suffered more, but it was just a guess,
Overloaded with clichés, patched on our dark days,
Unaware I was the setup, before the closing phrase.

Keep donning your cape socks, a symbol of strength,
In the end, you shaped me, helping me find my true length

my sister walked in the door
a grim face and no words
i’ve never seen her like this before
she sat beside me, dragging her feet on the cold linoleum the entire way,
three cushions down
and stared blankly at the tv
“i’m really tired”
she says she only got an hour of sleep
i didn’t know what to say
i had seen the news

i could feel the sadness
it poured out of her and sept into anything in its path
i can feel my heart slowly breaking
i don’t think she noticed
she lays down with a blanket
and closes her eyes
she’s not sleeping, but i didn’t know how to help
i had seen the news

i told her
go sleep in my room
go get a snack
go home for a while
but she never listens to me
i just wanted her to be okay
i didn’t really expect this time to be different, after all
i had seen the news

she didn’t sleep
she didn’t eat
she didn’t go home
she just lay there
in silence
for hours
i kept thinking about the news

i worried all day for her
and when she finally went home that night
i still worried for her
i cried for hours
all i wanted was to help her
i didn’t know how to help her
all i knew is that
i had seen the news