Sentences started but never finished
Words thought but never spoken
I try to talk to you and it’s never heard
Unless something so absurd is spoken and maybe your laughter follows but only if you’ve chosen to listened.
See, I used to feel heard and seen
Somehow I’ve fallen between, the cracks in our foundation
I hold on to what we did have before everything we have now
Without everything we have now we’d be nothing
A child who’s so fixated on his toys, do you see me? We’ve fallen into a void and it’s hard to escape this feeling..
I used to feel seen and loved sometimes smothered. Now it’s cold and untouched like we peaked then dipped to nothing
I want to love you but something won’t let me, I want to immerse myself in you but I don’t want to. You don’t match me, you don’t see me. You don’t listen.
I could tell you every slight detail in who you are, where you’ve been and how you got there
But when I look at you I feel the coldest stare, like you used to love me but now it’s not there. Fair? Unfair? Rare.
It’s rare that you listen, it’s rare that two people could fall hopelessly in love and fall out of it just as quickly.
But now we’re stuck. Bound together, till death do us part, without the vows the gown and the second name. Bound by her and all that she is.
We wouldn’t change our course but would we really choose us given the choice?
I’ll keep trying, when inside my mind is dying, no challenging conversations or thought provoking statements.. just your stories on repeat like a broken record, my heart listening to every sound and slowly shutting down. Like I’ve run out of love for you and everything that makes you, you. Because it’s all about you.
Does my intelligence intimidate you, are my memories of no interest? Do I bore you? Nights I’ve spent with others, talking the hind legs off a donkey, laughing turning to tears, discussing hopes, dreams and fears. Talking, learning, sharing but you’re just done caring.
Because when I talk, you don’t listen.
First time writing
