Getting married at 22 sound a lot like leaving the party at 9:30
Like leaving the party when there are only three people there
Like leaving the party although you have not uttered a word to another soul
Like leaving the party before anybody new arrives
Like leaving the party when only the beer has showed up and no liquor
Like leaving the party before the cool kids even show their faces
Like committing the rest of your life to vanilla ice cream and you’ve only ever tasted vanilla ice cream
Like sticking with what you know and not venturing away
Getting married at 22 sounds a lot like settling down

We never got to go to the hookah bar like you promised me
It’s funny how life works sometimes
One minute you’re so in love you’re drunk on it
And the next thing you know you’re hungover
And the stomach acid taste of his next girlfriends name burns in your chest
I always knew we wouldn’t be together forever
But I still let this tear me apart
I still lost my dinner when I saw her for the first time
And god it hurt
I’ve never been drunk before
So this metaphor I’m trying to crack open might be a cold one
But I know you know alcohol like your middle name
(and your last name and your first name)
You know PBR like a lover
And drink $5 wine like it’s from the fountain of youth
But we thought we were invincible
And that night I hold onto
Has so many memories
Sometimes when I think of them I still feel like I can never die
But that’s probably what my friends mother thought
With her BAC of .3
And her car sinking into the water
Life was good to her
With her 2 sons and 3 daughters
Her job promotion
And her health
But she still swore his name burned her like whisky
Down her throat
I’m worried I’ll hold onto you forever
But I’m even more worried I'll forget
Forget how good it feels to love
Forget how good it feels to be alive
Because the first time I had moonshine hurt like hell
But I don’t want to forget laying on my kitchen floor crying
Because it tasted so bad
Because the memories are what keep me alive
They leave the tipsy feeling
But take the blackout harmony
It isn’t the same when the alcohol leaves you
So I am sorry
I am sorry that I stayed drunk too long
I am sorry that I am a disaster when I’m hungover
And I am so **** sorry
That I just sobered up
But I still feel the burn
Of our names together
And our favorite poetry
And your smile
I don’t know what comes after sobriety
I don’t know what comes after you realize the person you’ve loved
Never loved you to begin with
I don’t know what happens after the hangover fades away and you’re only left with what it really feels like to ache
But I guess it’s time to find out

I made a cocktail.
It's 40% tears,
30% despair,
20% regret,
and 9% doubt.
There's a hint of hope somewhere in there also.

And I'm getting drunk tonight.

So I’m not your cup of tea?

I know, I know
I’m loud
I’m abrasive
I’m bold
I’m not ladylike
I’m too political
I’m too modern of a woman
I’m not maternal
I’m overly comfortable with sexuality
I make jokes like a man
I swear like a sailor
I don’t dab the grease off my pizza
I drink liquor from the bottle
I got some mouth on me, the audacity
I don’t filter my words
I fight when I’m right, or wrong
I push buttons and boundaries
I’m nothing short of a firecracker

So I’m not your cup of tea?
That’s okay
I’d much rather be someone’s shot of tequila, straight, no chaser

Sweet liquor only ages,
                      Sweet liquor only ages,

She looks -a still,
                  Young looks can ****.

Oh it breaks my heart…
                     It won’t be mine,

Bottled-up it gets better,
                Just give it some time.

Sweet liquor only ages,
                      Sweet liquor only ages,

Beauty stop, you stand still,
                              Young looks can ****.

I gave my heart and wasted my time,
Let my love out, let go-o-o-o-o…
Woman on woman -my Woe!

Sweet Liquor only ages,
                      Sweet liquor only ages,

Here with a feeble mind,
                                 Now drinking all the time!

Sweet liquor only ages,
                      Sweet liquor only ages,

Plump lips, her curly hair-r-r-s,
                                 Never a boyfriend, -she swears!

Sweet liquor only ages,
                      Sweet liquor only ages,

That body, does it shine?
                                       I’m drinking all the time!

Sweet liquor only ages,
                      Sweet liquor only ages,

Sweet liquor only ages,
                      Sweet liquor only ages,

Irrita la garganta y daña el hígado,
que bastante ya se ha visto machacado
por años de prácticas funestas.

El más ****** líquido,
encuentra camino en mi esófago,
repleto de falsas esperanzas,
va camino abajo y patea mis entrañas
encargándose de dejar escapar la cordura.

Menos por menos es más,
y aquello que te vuelva inestable
en una casa sin columnas ni vigas,
seguro te hará sentir a salvo.

Fuerte aroma y tacto cuestionable,
aunque lo conozcas desde siempre,
todas las veces se siente
como el primer beso
pero con mordida.

Como champaña descorchada,
hace florecer cualquier pensamiento,
entre palabras que escapan a duras penas
de la lengua envenenada y adormecida.

El que lo niegue no lo ha probado,
y si lo probó y lo negó,
tiene ante usted a un ángel limpio y puro,
puesto que ésta es la poción de los pisoteados.

"Candy is dandy,
And liquor is quicker,
But fame is quickest."
Said the pessimist.