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Oct 2017
We never got to go to the hookah bar like you promised me
It’s funny how life works sometimes
One minute you’re so in love you’re drunk on it
And the next thing you know you’re hungover
And the stomach acid taste of his next girlfriends name burns in your chest
I always knew we wouldn’t be together forever
But I still let this tear me apart
I still lost my dinner when I saw her for the first time
And god it hurt
I’ve never been drunk before
So this metaphor I’m trying to crack open might be a cold one
But I know you know alcohol like your middle name
(and your last name and your first name)
You know PBR like a lover
And drink $5 wine like it’s from the fountain of youth
But we thought we were invincible
And that night I hold onto
Has so many memories
Sometimes when I think of them I still feel like I can never die
But that’s probably what my friends mother thought
With her BAC of .3
And her car sinking into the water
Life was good to her
With her 2 sons and 3 daughters
Her job promotion
And her health
But she still swore his name burned her like whisky
Down her throat
I’m worried I’ll hold onto you forever
But I’m even more worried I'll forget
Forget how good it feels to love
Forget how good it feels to be alive
Because the first time I had moonshine hurt like hell
But I don’t want to forget laying on my kitchen floor crying
Because it tasted so bad
Because the memories are what keep me alive
They leave the tipsy feeling
But take the blackout harmony
It isn’t the same when the alcohol leaves you
So I am sorry
I am sorry that I stayed drunk too long
I am sorry that I am a disaster when I’m hungover
And I am so **** sorry
That I just sobered up
But I still feel the burn
Of our names together
And our favorite poetry
And your smile
I don’t know what comes after sobriety
I don’t know what comes after you realize the person you’ve loved
Never loved you to begin with
I don’t know what happens after the hangover fades away and you’re only left with what it really feels like to ache
But I guess it’s time to find out
Cassandra Lane
Written by
Cassandra Lane  19/F/Honolulu, Hawaii
(19/F/Honolulu, Hawaii)   
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