There was a void.
Then there was light.
There was his voice.
His touch which made me quiver.
His fragrance that lingered
Like the dew every morning
Like the dreams that kept coming back
Like the waves that washed away sandcastles
Like the wind which bent the daffodils on the sidewalk
Like a phone that kept ringing.
Like the letters left unanswered.
The birthdays that kept coming.
His voice rang in my head.
Like a beautiful symphony that would be the end of me if it stopped.

A thousand pictures lying on the floor
Do I even recognize us anymore?

Like seasons that come one after the next
Like the unassuming traffic i see through the window of a hotel
In an unknown town
On an unknown date
The calendar has failed me

I need to stop tasting you on my tongue
Like a pill I can't swallow
Like a high I can't get
Like a breakfast in a picturesque town, left unfinished
Like words of a foreign language I can't seem to pronounce correctly.

Every time I close my eyes, I think I forget.
And then there is a void.

you are the echo in places after everyone's sound has gone.

you are the reluctant resonance in air between breaths.

you are the leaving that's overstayed its welcome.

you are the racket in deprivation of company.

you are the uproar after music has ceased.

you are the chord eternally reappearing.

you are reverberations of want, of lack.

you are sweet tinnitus in every hush.

you are every absent reoccurrence.

you are epitomes of entirety.

your gale still lingers.

but you do not.

you do not.

you do.

not.

Linger,
when goodnight brings resistance
and words say time to part,
I can't convince my heart
to do the same.
Time be still,
give me a moment, then,
hasten me here again.
It matters not the place
just the face.
Wherever there is we
I can breathe.

i find myself following our old footsteps
almost subconsciously
letting memories make decisions
leading the way through lingering thoughts of you

while they may be seemingly mundane
they are increasingly significant
for it is not just a choice to order miso soup
or to venture down the scenic route
to our old curry house
where the spice would bring tears to my eyes
a prelude to the damp ducts that were soon to follow

now that the streams have dried up off my face
i take joy in the journeys in which i place my stride beside your fading footsteps
painting our memories in the vivid colours of yesteryear
as opposed to tainting them with the disjoint of yesterday

i will continue to do all the things that we did, albeit alone
for it is now as much part of me
as the bones that support me
and the heart that pumps my blood
slightly aching when a thought of you lingers slightly
but an ache diminishing with each passing day

you changed me,
you probably didn't even realise it
as you were papering the cracks in the fibre of my being
allowing me to grow as a person, a partner, a lover

so i will ride my bike down the mountains from which our love fell
down the steep cliff faces from which it never recovered
and i will mimic the thoughts in my head
through words on the cloud, as you did
sharing
caring
remembering
not least you
and the way we were
in one of the best times of my life

Why is it that you keep lingering in my head
And I'm not even resisting the sounds that call out your name
Song lyrics always bring me back to the thought of you
They are ocean waves in which I swim
and somehow I always end up on your shore

I wish time could stop,
So i can talk to you longer,
   Until there are no words to utter
     And we're just laying on each other.

I wish time could stop,
So i can hold you longer,
   Until we're under the covers
      And put our lips together.

I wish time could stop,
So we can linger,
     After the dusk and the winter,
        I will always remember
         the words you whispered.