sky dining table.
much loaves of bread, butter heaps;
windswept the leftover.

You left me broken.

I only hope that the next person to love me-
is able to push aside my broken pieces,
and see the beauty ,
in what is left.

Today it became crystal clear why no one has ever wanted me
I drag so much bagage
and am constantly followed
by demons I gave birth to

In fact some would say
It's a good common sense
to stay as far away from me as possible
Yes, maybe my fingers have the potential to do magic in the light or in the dark, doesn't matter if you are the right one
But is that all you are looking for?
Because, for once I'd rather be the full course than the cold leftover

I keep getting asked "are you okay?"
Good question.
When will I finally be pretty?
Good question
I'll cut my hair and fake a smile
Hoping someone will stay a while
Why am I such a crybaby?
Good question
they say a broken heart is one that's been loved
But I guess nothing's perfect.
Who am I?
Good question
The best questions are the ones without answers.

i feel like there is so much love left
when people leave us
and we have no idea what to do with them
so we keep them in boxes,
we store them in drawers
and sometimes,
we wear them on cold nights
when no one is watching.

all around us we make sure
we live in a place
with no trace of what has been
yet every closet is filled with the bones
of a dead love
and every corner is a reminder
of where we got lost

we hide the things they left behind,
we create mausoleums out of our rooms
and call it “moving on”

even my room is haunted
with his hasty departure
his old sweatshirt,
his silk necktie,
and the ocean blue summer dress he gave me
gather dust as a relic of a past
i have exhibited in the walls
of my broken heart

i buy cigarettes
and try to remember the taste of
his nicotine mouth
i study my face in the mirror
and try to remember the look of the girl
he fell in love with
i stay in the nights longer
i skip all the cracks in the pavement
i keep wishing he come back

one day i woke up
in a cold bathroom floor
filled with my tears and *****
that’s when I knew
where all the leftover love goes
it seeds hatred
then grows into despair
and finally bears the fruit of grief

there is no reasoning with a broken heart
only grief

and grief is the greatest leftover love there is
it spills all over
and seals your chest tight
until you feel no fight
and no other

so i waited and wasted away
until my ribs cracked
under the pressure of all the grief flowing out

and one day
i realized
i left one of his jackets
in my old apartment abroad
i couldn’t bring it any longer
my luggage is filled with so many new things
and his was a heavy garment
i just couldn’t carry anymore.