I took a deep breath, and fell right onto my pillow
I said to myself, "People leave, that's what they do."

I breathed deeply, almost panting because of the anxiety creeping on to me.
Abuse, betrayal all of it flashed in front of my eyes.

I breathed deeply, in and out, as the world stood still, right in front of me.

I breathed deeper, consoled myself, things will be fine if not better, this isn't the end.

I breathed deeply, this time holding my chest, as if trying to tell it that all was well.

I breathed deeper, while a tear flowed down my left cheek, it's alright, it's just a difficult week.

I took five more breaths, before telling myself this, "it's okay, and that people leave."

My heart almost spiralled into confusion.

Blaming myself, and then not.

People leave, that's how it's been all these years, it's like my head was in a knot.

I've been bothered by this approach people have in life, "live and forget" as if there's nothing else in sight.

In moments like these, when I can't breathe any further,
I write, and feel,
Because I know,
I'll never be like the others.

but it's there
and it's there
and it's there

and I couldn't
but I won't
but I could

and I might

just

leave.

Alone on a chilly night in September
Lost emotions still vividly remember
Sands of time erase happier days
Wondering why so little good stays

When I don't hear from you I stress
Inner storm only tamed by your caress
The weather lately has taken a turn
For the cold my heart holds will always return

Where my footprints fade and yours begin
Moments eternity seems suspended in
With another call straight to voicemail goes
Saltwater teardrops I fight like foes

At war with my own weakness and doubt
Puzzles and riddles I can't figure out
Shadows overtake our souls with shame
Empty and vacant
Demons steal our names

When you disappear I am left neglected
To forgive you comes easier than expected
The tide pulls you out and washes back ashore
Each time I wonder what you even leave me for?