I know a guy that smells like kyarn
Like he's been working in ******
knees deep out on a farm

his hair is long and *****
he's unaware of a brush
But he seems to be happy
and I keep looking for him to flush

He eats the little squirrels
He shoots out of the tree in the yard
he says five makes a meal
I say he's a ******

I have to take him seriously
Sometimes it's really hard
his nose is always running
One day it ran too far

I always get a belly laugh
When he tries to confess his love
I just start praying, Mercy
Have mercy from above

Crying without tears
Laughing without Laughter
....
...
..
What if I
Cry with laughter
Laugh with tears
..
...
....
Ha. Ha. Ha.

I dream of you.

Over and over,
Your hand is held in mine.
Time and time again,
Your arms are wrapped around me.

Stranger,
You light my fantasies.

You caress my cheek with the pad of your thumb
carefully tracing my lips.

Stranger,
You haunt my every thought.
Stranger,
You taunt my aching heart.

Why?

I dare to wake,
I can't bear to lose you.

Stranger,
You allure me.

You pull me in.
You smile, teeth, dimples, and all.
You laugh, I laugh-- In love.
As the smoke overtakes your image.
Slowly, but surely.
As fast as you arrived,
You left.

(Lost in a dream)

Hi Dad,
              I don’t know if you can read Facebook posts in heaven. I hope you can. Or can feel this on a spiritual level or something like that. It’s your birthday tomorrow. You are or would be 60. I’m not sure how it works once you’ve passed on. I love you. I know I didn’t say it enough. But I love you so much. And I miss you. Happy birthday. I want to call and leave a voicemail singing to you. Or you pick up and I sing to you. I hope you’re eating something awesome in heaven to celebrate. Like our favorite linguini with clam sauce, or some spicy wings or a juicy cheeseburger, perhaps some authentic Chicago Giordano’s deep dish pizza. I miss you a lot. I miss your dad jokes. I miss when I was little and you would comfort me. I miss when I was sick at school and you would come pick me up and we would walk somewhere and get really good snacks and Twix ice cream bars and go to the park because I wasn’t really sick....I just knew you were off and I wanted to spend time with you. I took everything for granted and I’m so sorry. Happy birthday. If you knew my father you know he was the funniest man in the whole room and his laugh, just like mine, was so contagious. His smile, it lit a place up. I hope you are proud of me. I am trying really hard to be better than I have been. I hope you visit me in my dreams. I hope you’re celebrating. I just hope you don’t feel pain. I love you. Happy birthday dad.

                                            -“Face”

can we skip the bit
where I'm not sure
what it is you feel
and if it's the same
as the feeling
that I'm feeling is possibly real
and possibly how
someone as amazing
as you is feeling right here
right now?

- can we dispense with the fear
that what appears
to be actually here
is actually just a figment
a fiction based on
a misread permission
to stay this close, mistaken
like a ghost of a reflection
in a tarnished mirror
that hides the terror
of being seen this clearly
by another.

- can we move on
to the unguarded laughter
and the freedom to touch
the surface of your face
and the assurance
that we've reached across
a safe place,
a within-our-reach shared space.

- can we stay in this moment
for as long as this path lasts
and can this path
take us from our past on
into a future without-masks
where we nurture
each other to greater
and to deeper
laughter?

- can we do that?

In my life there are three things:
A feeling of emptiness,
a hollow laugh and blank face,
Hiding behind a mask

I wonder day by day
nothing changing
the world around me is unimportant.
In my life there are three things:

My own emotions elude me
they go about their days
hiding in the back of my brain
a feeling of emptiness

Upon my face there sits
a person I don't know
Because of all I ever am is
a hollow laugh and blank face

Day by day, night by night
nobody ever bothers to look
but I never bother to tell, I'm
hiding behind a mask

You laugh,
but I’m the one left breathless.