I let my insecurities get the best of me
Maybe that's why I keep so many of you next to me
I just want someone to show me why they're the best for me
Just want someone to prove why I should leave the game and just have them lay next to me
Instead of sitting here and playing all these boys in front of me

Baby I'm really trying for you because I'm obsessed with the way you kiss me
But I really like the way that he misses me
And I really like those moments when I catch him with his eyes on me

And I'm scared that if I let you see all of me you'll hate me
And I don't want to feel vulnerable because that ain't me
So I'll push you aside until you start to hate me
Then you'll see how my insecurities have shaped me.

the words of judgement
spurring out of your mouth
doesn't hurt the one being judged
the way it reveals your insecurities

She wishes
for the moon
to shine radiance
upon her
jaded skin

She wishes
for the sun
to burn roses
upon her
sharp cheeks

She wishes
for the stars
to shine glitters
into her
bloodshot eyes

She wishes
for him
to find
her beautiful

Two hearts clang
but
never open

Tears fall
but
are never caught

Flames arise
but
are never fanned

Minds connect
but
are never spoken

I stare at myself in awe.
What a creation.
Behold.
She lives.

A body like the media promotes.
Smooth skin of a dark tone.
She fights with both hands
Fists clenched with intensity
To keep the insecurities at bay.

Though they climb through her brain
Chemically reducing her
To nothing but a stereotype.

I wish I would have told her
After they buried her it meant nothing
That’s what I wanted to say
To think of heaven
A glorious beginning
Without carrying pottery on your head
Or living under tin roofs
It was all buried now
The doubts
Your body
Your face
The color of your skin
The measures of small minded men
The one’s that somehow made you count too
But the time has arrived
No more moral dilemmas
No more fences to jump
No more lights flashing behind you
No more of the things you fear
Now it’s like watching a sunset
Or staring silently into my eyes
Not knowing what to say
But knowing how you feel
It’s what I wanted to say
That’s what I was thinking
Ten years from now
Or twenty
On a day called too late
Too late to ease her mind
It was hard for me to believe
I wanted her so badly
Yet she only knew sorrow
I could only see beauty
She could only see flaws
She was so unhappy
If I had only known
I would have talked to her
A stranger one day
A friend the next
I would have told her
A vision one day
My lover the next
Instead I suffered too
Because the woman who was so unsure
Didn’t know she didn’t have to wait for love
She didn’t have to die to find it
It was here all along
If she only knew

She looks in the mirror;
Oh, how ugly! You say.

She touches her soft pink lips;
And you remind her of her ugly lies.
Ugly lies! Ugly lies!
Only trash coming from her heart.

She looks at her eyes;
Her dull, soulless eyes —
You tell her, how bland!
How flat and bleak!
It’s because of all the things
That she has seen.

She looks at her body;
You say, what an ugly mess!
You have all these fats
Placed in the wrong spots.
Why not starve yourself to death?

She turns around and looks at her back
You remind her
Of the ugly gnarled scars
And how she was backstabbed
By all that she loved
Because she is insecure
And will never be loved.