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kain Dec 2019
I hope you're happy
I don't mean that
In a bitter way
I want you to be happy
I hope she gives you
Everything that I couldn't
I hope she looks past your flaws
Moves past the place where I stopped
I hope you're happy
I hope you're happy
I know what I have to do.
kain Dec 2019
I feel like a failure
Because I don't know what to do
Some stories are self deprecating
Most of them, actually
So will you laugh
Or am I just embarrassing

Is my stupid hair
A sign of independence
Or just something else
That makes me different
Am I everything you want
Or everything you dread

Am I a trainwreck
Already in full force
Careening off the tracks
Surrounded by bystanders
I guess it'd be funny
If I wasn't me

I'm okay with being the mess
Playing the disaster
I'm outside of myself
So it doesn't matter
If I play the fool
I'm laughing too
I'm such a disaster lately. Either I hold it all in and keep my composure, or it all comes out and people stare. I guess I must look really stupid. I hope some people are amused by me. I laugh when I can, and pull away when I can't. I know I'm the joke here. I don't like it, but there's nothing else to do.
faye Dec 2019
Like I hope one day, eventually your name will be erased out of my mind.
Ur name wouldn't bring back bittersweet memories like before.
Cause then, when I am fully healed, I would be able to love someone without the unwanted toxins in it.
Anything would just be enough, eventually in time.
So I'm guessing that right now, it's just a temporary goodbye.
the first letter of every sentence, love.
kain Dec 2019
Fingers searching
Probing
At any other point
This would be endearing
But these fingers seek destruction

Every flaw
Every bump and crevice
Is torn away
I wish I could mold myself
Into someone else
But I can't
So I'll tear myself apart instead
Bippity boblems you have mental problems.
solana Oct 2019
i stand here
in this room of cement
dreaming to be on the outside.

though, this dream is mercurial.

i can see the outside, through the one thing in the room.
a stained glass window.

it's colors clashing and colliding, to form the most beautiful picture
and suddenly,

my dream doesn't seem as important.

as the light shines through, the colors coat the room with warmth and beauty.

i've only one thing keeping me from my dream

something so fragile and so elegant, yet has the strongest hold on me.

i've only one thing keeping me from my dream

and yet,

i can't bring myself to destroy it.
kinda proud of this ngl
Jack Nov 2019
May Day,
The ship is going under,
And I, the foolish captain,
Must go down with it,
Choosing to believe that,
The deep blue depths are a better source of oxygen
Of this strangled existence we walk together.

For many years my fully conscious corpse,
Trawled the depth thriving on only those,
Who had lost their way and could be led astray,
My skin, wrinkled to the touch,
Grey to the eyes,
Salty to the taste,
Eating itself from within.

I met a strange character,
That looked like an aged me,
His greasy, grey hair flowed in the depths,
His back slumped under the pressure,
He turned to me and said,
I could still share love and joy,
That I was not yet dead.

I now realise,
That I am alive,
And they will never tell me otherwise,
Im not to feel happiness’ warmth again,
But you will not feel the weight of my burden,
No one I love will have eyes
Welled up with these salted tears
Or thighs slashed with hatred’s cold blade.

Because I am alive,
And they will never tell me otherwise.
Irene J Nov 2019
Your smile has faded away.
Your warm back has become cold.
The shadow that was beside me has disappeared.

Oh, how I miss you.

Until the days burned my soul by
the absence of you in my life.

I'm haunted by your silence answer
and the distance you kept from me.

Even when our eyes met in the crowded room,
it was just a cold stare from a stranger.
No expression, no meaning at all.

How did we become this way?
It hurt me reading our past conversation on "dm"... It was a beautiful friendship between a guy and girl until someone decided to cross the "line"= fall in love.
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