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lovelywildflower Sep 2018
I used to tear open my skin to release the pain inside
The addictive, luring touch of tools used to split open wrists
It was the only thing that felt right to do in times of despair
Loneliness and despondency clung to me like gum stuck to the bottom of a shoe
The only thing I could ever focus on was dragging a sharp object across my thin arms
That was me

Two years back on one April night I found a new shiny object
Tore it across my skin to numb a pain I can't quite remember now
Of course I did not realize that new objects have sharper touches
I went too deep...
I panicked like I was being pushed off a building, a fight to stay alive
Isn't it crazy how you think you want to die and the moment the possibility of death is in front of you, you battle to live?
I ran halfway up the stairs and stopped, too afraid to admit what I had done to myself to someone that would help
So I took matters into my own hands
Cleaned and treated the wound like I was a surgeon
Bandaged and kept that part of me free from any harm
The fact that it probably needed stitches scared me
I've never cried harder that memorable night
I will never forgive myself

Two years later down the road
I love myself and I feel like a ray of sunshine all the time
Light radiates from me whenever I can do it
I've never been so on the positive side of things
And I did, I did forgive myself
Two years later and the scar has still not faded to a white line
I hated it. I hated looking at it continuously day after day
I was ashamed
I tried to love that part of me but I couldn't
It was so hard

And in between getting better and holding on to the past
I experienced heartbreak for the first time
I swore he was the one
And he broke me into pieces like I was nothing
I hated everything
Why didn't anyone want me or love me?
No one showed up to save me
So I started to love myself instead

Today, September 20, 2018, I realized my worth
Today I looked down at the reminder of hard times
Today it has almost completely faded
Sometimes you don't even realize the moment you heal
But you do
I promise you that you will heal
Aa Harvey Sep 2018
Head against a brick wall.


Mobile phones are like listening to a headache;
Women are obsessed, with a need to be fake.
What's going on, for ***** sake?
Go o'naturel; let me see your real face.


Show me you, not what you wish me to see.
Don't let your inhibitions, stop you being free.
I'm always here for you, if you ever need me;
But I'll never walk away, unless you ask me to leave.


I'll stand by your side, in the pouring rain
And I'll give you my coat, to keep you warm.
I don't mind being wet, if you’re happy and safe
And as long as you know, that I am all yours.


What can I do, to keep you with me?
Why must I let go, when I know you will leave?
How can you simply, walk out on me?
How can you not know that's it's you whom I need?


I just keep losing my mojo, somebody’s stolen my muse.
I left it in my pocket, now it's not there with you.
You took it as you left me, laying crying on the floor;
I ran after you, but in my face you slammed the door.
I lost a tooth and found a black eye
And the nurses never believed that I walked into a door.
That's because our love for each other, they never saw.


But please don't leave me, here all alone;
Don't let me be the one, who has to stare at his phone.
Awaiting your call, that will never come.
Say you still want me and need me and show me some love.


(C)2013 Aa Harvey. All Rights Reserved.
Aa Harvey Sep 2018
My Everything.


Your eyes are your soul,
Your secrets they hide.
I’m lying here dreaming,
That you are my wife.


I’m wondering why,
The tears must be cried.
For us to accept that,
We are lovers for life.


Can we not just agree, that you love me,
As much as I love you?
Can we agree to disagree?
I’d really like us to.


In fact I’d like us to wed,
I’d like to live with you until I am dead
And gone; but not forgotten,
A love like this must not be allowed to go rotten.


I’d like to say you’re beautiful,
But that is not enough.
I’d like to say I love you,
But that doesn’t do this feeling justice.
So instead I’ll simply say how I see it,
My love, my lover, my life, my everything.


You to me are beautiful, ****, gorgeous,
Fantastic in bed and all together worth it.
Passionate and hot, with a ***** mind.
Amazing to touch, but heartbreaking if I were blind.


For I could no longer look you in the eyes,
I could never see between your beautiful thighs.
I would never see your beautiful face,
But if I could still hold you, then anything I could take.


For hugging you is heavenly.
Kissing you is divine.
Lying in bed next to you is what I’ve waited for all my life.


(C)2013 Aa Harvey. All Rights Reserved.
Aa Harvey Sep 2018
The Broken Heart Club.


I came to see you yesterday;
There were drunken degenerates outside your place.
I got nervous, I'm afraid to say;
I'll come back tomorrow and try again.


I had an epiphany, a realisation;
Why must I struggle to come see you?
Why can't we change the situation?
What do you say, shall we live together?
Stay together as one person, forever and ever?


I love you completely, I'm infatuated,
Please tell me you feel the same way,
I don't want to feel deflated.
Let down by you, the one person that shouldn't;
Because our love is eternal, I'd still want you even if I couldn't.


I want to hold you in my arms, knowing you truly love me;
Because I'm obsessed by your beauty and personality.
Head over heels, wearing rose tinted glasses.
We could teach lessons to students, 'The How to Love' classes.


Wedded in white, the ****** bride;
Not in today’s society, they lose it as a child.
Make a promise to each other to stay together;
Until death does us part; or you’re bored of each other.


I'd like you to meet my Wife; oh you met her last week?
Yeah, she was stripping in that club,
She's got a nice pair of (Bleep).
Sorry didn't you know, that your girl is a **?
The boys down the pub have all had a go.


Walk away and I stumble, I need your belief;
You take away my breath, I need an Iron Lung to breathe.
Everyone comes and goes, but no-one really knows.
When you found me, I looked deep inside, at a picture of my soul.
There was a picture of me smiling, I felt good inside;
But the truth will out and now my heart has just died.


You’re getting too close, get out of my bubble,
What is this love thing?  Why does it cause so much trouble?
Your love is a hemorrhage; it's bad to the taste.
I gave you my heart and my soul.  Oh my dear, what a waste.
You threw it in the bin, like it was yesterday’s news;
As you met the man you loved, who would have knew?


I really didn't, I stupidly thought you loved me;
I must really be a loser, for I lost all I need.
You my love, you were the one for me.
But true love?  Now I'm not so sure; I no longer believe.


We were happy once, before all this happened.
You loved me once, before you loved him.
But why did you marry me and then do something like this?
I will always love you dearly;
Yet at the same time know you’re a *****.


(C)2005 Aa Harvey. All Rights Reserved.
Aa Harvey Sep 2018
What I love


Your soul is within your eyes.
The colour, the pupil, the lens to focus the light.  
Your visions are put together like a family photograph.
Click!  You stole my soul through your camera lens.
Give it back!  


I’m no Demon;
I am Human-e, that is for certain,
Because if I had the power to change the world for the better,
We would all live in paradise, forever and ever.


I would make every Human marry their equal
And a self-destruction button would be activated,
If they were ever unfaithful.
Spontaneous combustions like stars falling to the ground.
Everyone is guilty; everybody cheats love if they are fooling around.
So I would be the last man standing,
Before you my love, speaking the truth; being genuine.


Please accept that you are all that I need.
If at the moment you feel differently,
It doesn’t mean you should just ignore my true feelings.


Yes it is possible someone loves more than you do.
No it is impossible for me to cheat on you.


Leave you I will, if I think you have strayed.
Wait for proof?  Never again.
Drove me insane, it did for sure;
So I cannot be your *****.
Use another body; anybody.
Just please do not use mine.
My broken heart stares up sadly, at my broken mind.


My soul is shattered!
I…
I love…
I love y…

It doesn’t matter…

…what I love.


(C)2013 Aa Harvey. All Rights Reserved.
arielle Sep 2018
You don't know
what I've seen
but I hope
one day,
you'll see that
i love you
more
than you love me
heartbroken
Survived Sep 2018
Long were the days when she told him
"i will love you till my last breath"
ac Sep 2018
i tell you drunk texts are sober thoughts
and you reply with 8 simple letters,
followed by 1 question mark.
"is that what you want to hear?"
a skip of my heartbeat is the only answer i need
tell me while you're in my arms or while we are dancing in the moonlight with a bottle of ***** and a blanket. tell me while we jump off a bridge together and fall into a river matching the tears i cry over missing you. not now, please
Jasmine dryer Aug 2018
If I could describe myself then I would be a star
i want to glow up everyones day
I want to shine bright
And I try to put a smile on your face
Oh and  how I try with all my might

I want to be the person that people need
Something they can wish on
I mean thats the only reason why I’m still here
R
I
G
H
T
?


I mean as much as I hate to admit it sometimes
Its hard to be a star
After all
I have to die over and over again
Explode
Die
Again and again
To give you what you want
I must become brand new

But don’t worry , I promise that I
That we
That she
Will still do anything for you
are you smiling yet?
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