Sounds swim constantly
Through the aches behind my unopened eyes.
The latest slumber trek is at an end.

The pace of my brain
Akin to a shortsighted grasshopper:
No focus,
Leaping all over the pace.

My inert body
Resolutely immoveable.

Just 5 more minutes.

I sit here in my apartment, on a Sunday morning
Completely hung over, without a **** warning
Last night was brutal and harsh, it wasn’t kind
Things went to ****, I was drunk out of my mind
Lost my girlfriend of 15 years, that evil *****
Cheating with my best friend, he’s not even rich

I never saw it coming, I’ve been so busy as of late
Working to pay the bills, it’s getting old at this rate
The social life is something I try to make time for
I feel like here lately, the battle is a never-ending war
My friends want me to go out, every Friday night
But I’m sick of them starting a ******* fight

I need to break from the pack, start finding new friends
Looking at the last few years, I need to make a cleanse
As I sit here and try to make sense of every **** thing
It’s a struggle, it’s nothing but stale beer and nicotine
The pain has sent me into this spiral, I’m freaking out
Not really sure if I can go on, I really have my doubts

I’m wondering and worrying
Am I blundering or wallowing
Do I swallow all my fears
And forget about the years
That came before today
And hope they go away
And never bother me again?
When does that start, when?

Grumbling and mumbling
Stumbling and bumbling
I learn to stifle my tears
And through catatonic years
I forgot how to play
And locked myself away
From the fellowship of friends.
I hope to survive until it ends.

Itching and *******, I switch
To calling people a sunsabitch
Because they don’t guess
Why I’m a big freaking mess
And help me to recover
Maybe come be my lover
Because I don’t know how.
Let that part start right now.

Smoking and toking every day
Won’t make the blues go away.
Huffing and binge drinking
Means I’m not really thinking
And too often these days
That is what I have prayed;
To be blissfully unaware
That I am going nowhere.

Dulled senses, aching
Haunted by last night’s fumes
Dark eyes darker, despite
Shades reflecting daylight
Red eyes in the morning
Drunkards warning to a
Dawn tinged with regret

I thought I've felt love,
but in reality the only love
I've known is the soft kisses
the bottle of alcohol has left
against my dry lips and
the sheets that hold my
tired and lonesome body at night.
The morning hangovers
remind me I'm the boy
who is destined to be
alone.
-o.b

From a moments notice to
hours upon passing hours
the light trickling in the small basement
windows, stuffed with backpacks
and pillows to hide ourselves
from the outside world of uncertainty.

The churning in my stomach,
the awful, nauseous spinning is
of my own wrong doings-
a bottle of Chianti and 7 slept hours
later. I am in ruins.

Aching all morning while you lie
silently beside,
I can't help but think about all the
torture your beautiful mind was
forced to withstand. I too,
would hide even the most pressing
thoughts deep inside.

I cannot even fathom,
(I hope you realize) I'm still yet
a princess, sitting in another
castle in the sky.

Fill my glass
  of vintage
    pleasures,
  top it til the
bubbly overflows,
   as memoirs
    & recollections
    effervesce
     beyond lucid
         drunkenness,
   hungover midst
       an endless
         toasting of
            intoxicated
               sensibilities

My head rushed, as I turned over to sleep
I should be doing something, I'm hopeless
those are the first two things I think this morning

My breakfast, if you can call it that, won't stay down for long
I crawl to the sink, my skin looks yellow in the mirror

Why, why, why? Those are the third fourth and fifth thoughts
why do I get up, why do I have to do this, why

I'm a balloon on a string that needs to be cut