Love why does it have to be so weird..
Why does it come when you barely know the person?
How do you know if you really love that person?

Love is what you make it it can be harsh it can be amazing.
It comes when you like the person's personality and the way they act and looks at you.
You feel like you can trust him/her with everything you are you show them the way you look at your worst and they still stay and love you no matter what.

How do you feel?
Now that you've taken
The most of all I've ever had?
How do you think?
Now that you've filled
My every waking thought?
How do you see?
Now that you've stopped
My eyes from seeing
Anyone better than you?
How do you touch?
Now that my hands
Will forever long to hold yours?
How do you taste?
Now that I'll never want
To taste anyone's kiss but yours?
How do you hear?
Now that you've stopped
Me from ever wanting
To hear anyone's laughter but yours?
How do you smell?
Now that I'll never be able
To smell your cologne
Without wishing to be
Wrapped in your arms?
How do you sleep?
Now that my every
Dream is of you?
How to you live?
Now that I'll never be able
To live without you again?

There comes a point when my insomnia and depression play with one another.
It's a moment where I lay in the darkness and contemplate and wait for sleep that never comes
I'll sit and wait and close my eyes in attempts to dream
But my efforts bare no fruit, so I abort them.
Just like how I aborted you.
Our relationship was toxic and so we're we to each other
It was a matter of time before it pulled me under
But now I'm paralyzed at the thought of you
And our supposed to be 2 year anniversary leaves me sad and feeling lonely
Though I'm not. He's an hour away
I need him to keep you away
You've interupted my thought process and I can't help but notice
How you've manipulated my body into wanting you.
But my brain and heart know better and they stay away
They put up their walls and nothing will ever escape.
That is until the time I see you again
And I feel like crying because you're no longer my friend
But that's okay, time heals all wounds
Well youd think but, I'm not amused.
So I'll just lay here crying and wondering what to do
And asking myself how
The **** can I get over you?

My ghost is pressed
Between pages of black ink;
Haunting bookshelves neatly labeled.
Fingers running down bound spines
vertebrae by paper vertebrae.
Memories that are trapped in fiction,
Lost by a to z organization,
Misfiled.

If a tree falls
When no one's around
How do we know
If it still makes a sound?
If a star disappears
And no one sees it go
Then how, I ask you
Did we know it ever glowed?
If a girl hides her pain
And pretends that she's fine
How will anyone know
That she's dying inside?

How is it,
That a mere thought
Cuts deeper
Than the sharpest blade?

And how is it,
That the sight of you
Hurts more
Than the deepest cut?

When did I get this way?
Was it my first lapse in judgement?
Was it the first time I was so terrified of going to school
I had a panic attack?
Was it the first time I pulled?
Was it on any of the numerous nights I broke down
alone and afraid of who I was?
When did I get this way?
It scares me to know I've been this way forever.

i've never understood
how someone could
miss the smell of my perfume,
the curls in my hair
crave the taste of my lips,
the touch of my skin
lie awake at night
unable to fall asleep without me in their arms
how someone
would know that i'm lactose intolerant
but that every saturday night,
i sneak off to the nearby icecream shop
and buy a chocolate cone with blueberry icecream
or that
whenever i writing poetry
i hate using capital "i"s
because i feel that makes me seem
too self important
how could someone bother to remember
all the little things i do
like hiding my face when i laugh
scrunching my nose when i write
and biting my bottom lip when i'm nervous
moreover,
how could they look at my
swollen lips
and then still dream of them at night?

i've spent my whole life
falling in love with the little things
like the freckle under your nose
& the way you look people in the eye when you speak to them
the way you always give up your seat when you see someone deserving
& the way you pronounce some words differently
(i really love how you say "hollow" and "obviously")
i've never found it odd how deeply i cherish these little things about you
i guess i just never thought
there'd be somebody
who'd fall in love
with me too